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  1. My sister was prescribed Ativan 4 years ago, after being diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome. She had surgery for the Cushings a year ago, which was successful, and then attempted to taper off the Ativan. She switched to Valium and slowly tapered over about 6 months. She was off of it for about 3 weeks when she began to suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms (shaking, sweating, horrible phantom pain, nausea, restlessness and screaming fits). In desperation, she took Ativan, which helped only temporarily and made her feel suicidal. She went to the emergency room and was in a crisis center for a week. Again, she tried to stay off the Ativan, but again developed horrific withdrawal symptoms and began to take Ativan sporatically and then more regularly. Her doctor was unsympathetic and refused to prescribe any more. The Ativan no longer helped for more than an hour or two and most of the day she was in agony. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore, and three weeks ago she killed herself. Ativan is a horrific drug that destroyed my sister’s life.

  2. Hello to everyone..im Nathan..im 42 years old.. I’ve been prescribed Ativan for of few years now..last November I just stopped taking the Ativan and the nightmare began..i developed akathisia..it is just plain torture.. I paced and paced..i could not sit down..in December 2023 i was hospitalized at a psychiatric hospital.. they didn’t figure out what was causing the akathisia..but they gave me Ativan which relieved the akathisia.. they tapered me off the Ativan and released me..I was fine for about a week when suddenly the akathisia began.. I had to go back to the hospital and spent Christmas there.. they did figure out it was akathisia..i still take the Ativan daily and I know if I stop taking it I will suffer the akathisia..to the family and friends of Dr Huff.. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.. you all are in my prayers..i know how Dr Huff felt..it truly is torture..no patient should have to go through the akathisia..and what hurts the most is when Drs don’t figure out what it is..it’s a terrible lonely feeling that no one should ever have to go through..my akathisia is currently ok as im currently taking the Ativan knowing that if it is ever not prescribed the akathisia will develop..im scared and feel hopeless..Dr Huff’s family and friends i truly send all my love and affections and pray to God for his blessings and his love..God blessed everything

  3. I was taken off Ativan about 40 year ago my docto stopped it dead I had horrific side effects I didn’t know what was happening to me ,I sued the family doctor 2 years after for which I won the case but still only received £5 ,000 pounds for still have side effects like fibromyalgia &panic attacks what do you suggest I do about it As it has ruined my life

  4. Hi

    I’m sad to read this story and my thought are with Christine’s family. That must have been so difficult.
    I have been on Ativan for years now. I have no issues with it. I know it’s not meant for long term use . I was wondering if Christine developed the disorder because they didn’t taper her. If she took Ativan again would those symptoms go away. (Akathisia)?

    1. I can only speak for me..yes Ativan should relieve the akathisia..but remember it is still there it’s just being masked by the Ativan..if you ever can’t get the Ativan and r suffering akathisia try taking vistoril..or Benadryl it is a temporary solution..the medicine Remeron is also helpful..and Propanol with benztropine is also very helpful..God bless

  5. It’s an extremely sad story. What I wonder though, is why she couldn’t get her hands on a benzo to slowly taper off. I know her doctor took her off ativan, but surely there was something she could have taken for tapering. 😔

    1. This happens to a lot of people. The doctor killed her. Benzos are of satan. Just because you taper doesn’t guarantee success with few symptoms. It’s definitely better to do for sure. Zero doubt. She had symptoms while on Ativan and it got worse after the cold turkey. It’s amazing Benzos are legal yet weed still isn’t in many states. Too much of that is bad too but nothing like Benzos.

      It’s a drug that needs to be illegal everywhere. It’s great for filling up the psych wards, though.

  6. Ativan is the worst drug doctors can offer. I was on Ativan for nearly 30years, tried several times to come off it, went to rehab, worst thing I ever did, they just decided cold turkey was best ! Never been through so much pain and torture in my life,
    Ended up with me discharging myself. I am now on valium, after changing doctors, and tapering off ativan,
    But I think I might have came off the ativan too quickly, as I am now having something similar to withdrawal, even while taking the valium.

  7. I have been on benzodiazepines for 30 years. The last 15 on Ativan 1mg t.i.d..My psychologist. Says according to FDA, 64 is cut off age .
    Concerned about fall risk and not breathing. Took me off. I became homicidal, dangerous to myself and possessions, seizures, no concentration, no driving. total isolation – I live alone. Heart racing and fluttering, no control of body movements, anxiety 24/7. Fell on concrete driveway. Stayed up all night just in case, pacing, what would take 5min., 2hrs. Walked in front of car 2x. Lucky for me, young man grabbed me. None stop talking
    EVER. Contact with only sister. Begged this person to put me back on…she was defiant and I was crazy and had she not started me on half the the dose, I was going to end my life. She took my quality of life away.I am still withdrawing and it is increasing. Been on Ativan 0.5mg t.i.d. for 2 1/2 days. I am dangerous and psycho…all back and almost as bad. My life is in her hands. She won’t listen even though I have never been that crazy over the phone. I couldn’t stop

    1. Can somebody give Jackie my phone number. She sounds like me and this is what’s happening with my family and I live alone. Can somebody email me? I am dying from this right now and I need help with somebody who understands and understands the torture of not having a supportive family. 213.308.1963

      1. How are you doing now? I read your response on benzo.info.com. I struggle with the same things you are.

      2. Are you ok??? I can email you if that would help. I feel you pain. I have been though the hell of coming off these.

    2. If you don’t believe anything. Please believe me it takes times. I was addicted to Klonopin & Xanax for 35 years. I’ve been Benzo free for 2 years and feel normal again. I tapered down for a year and a half. And stopped. Took me about a year to feel normal but it does happen must endure through!!!

      1. Hi Shaw,
        First of all Congratulations.
        You say you tepered down, my problem was there was a shortage of ativan, I was taking 7 1mg a day, for about 30years, because of the shortage I had to taper from ativan to valium within about a month, have been on valium for about months now but now think I’m getting withdrawal symptoms from ativan, aches in muscles, depression, nervous, feel pretty bad all over. Not sure
        If its withdrawal symptoms. On 15mg of valium now. Would appreciate any help if you can, thanks.

    3. Are you ok??? I can email you if that would help. I feel you pain. I have been though the hell of coming off these.

  8. I have been on 1 mg of ativan for about 2 years The only time I feel normal is when I take it. When I try to get off it I literally can’t walk.. when I try to walk my legs began to shake and I fall any advice ? I really don’t want to take ativan for the rest of my life.. i’m 27 btw don’t knownif that makes a difference.

      1. I was taking street valium every day for months to come down from cocaine. Sometimes drinking excessive. I stopped abruptly for seven months. What I experienced was hell. I mean pure hell. Complete insomnia body jerks severe weight loss. Drs just gave me zopiclone but works different part of the brain. I wanted a tapering program. Dr told me to read a book if I couldn’t sleep. Got accused of drug seeking behaviour. Drs egotistic pig attitude hadn’t a clue. I had to buy heroin addicts and alcoholica prescription for real valium. I found my tolerance at 20 mg. Reduced myself down to 10mg dropped 2mg every two weeks. Am currently on 8mg under supervision from a caring Dr from a drug rehab center. My current GP refused to prescribe me. I really had to do my homework here. I also take niacin l theanine inositol taurine and vegan protein powder with ground nuts fruit and other supplements every day and only drink bottled water. Don’t smoke or drink. Use a good CBD oil in the day. Eat healthy. Thank heavens for you tube. Keep strong never give up. I had s three hr septorhinoplasty whilst suffering from paws as well. Abscess on wisdom tooth plus need five teeth out.

      2. How are you doing now? I read your response on benzo.info.com. I struggle with the same things you are.

    1. Why in God’s name didn’t SOMEONE take Christine and put her on an equivalent dose of Valium (if she had been on 1.5 mg Ati, then 15 mgs. of Valium), then instead of her being in hell for however long she was, she could have been tapered over a couple of years then stopped at .5 V – and yes, she would have probably had increased anxiety, insomnia (melatonin can help with that), and the wonderful brain fog & memory issues too, but it would have been bearable suffering. This just makes me so upset, she reminds me of me and plenty of women I know, I know we can’t help her now but we can help anyone going through this now.
      I have my own story with benzoes (I actually was prescribed .75 mgs daily Xanax almost 20 years ago. I did a super quick taper eliminating .25 mgs a month, and walked away with some minor withdrawals. BUT I was immediately put on an SNRI
      AD and a weak opioid and I think that’s why I barely noticed the benzo withdrawal.).

      1. All avoidable had the Dr properly tapered her. The same thing happens toong term Rx opiate users who are abruptly cut off from their meds, and sadly that group often turns to dangerous street drugs. It’s the demonization campaign that fuels this… It’s arguably a well-intentioned effort to restrict the use of these drugs, but carried out so ham handedly that it’s literally killing people. Doctors, this is your job… Understand the patient before you and manage their issues, don’t just follow the pressure of health plans and the nightly news.

        1. Sometimes horrific withdrawal happens even with very slow “proper taper”. I am an example of that. Fortunately, after watching me struggle for two years, my doctor gave me the option of going back on the benzo. It doesn’t appear as though Christine’s doctors gave her that option. It’s not a perfect fix; I’m still trapped on this drug that is in no way therapeutic at current dose, only staves off intense withdrawal. For that much I am thankful. But life, as I knew it before benzo reduction, has not resumed as before. I don’t sleep much, eat much, am extremely limited socially, because I don’t know what fresh hell each new day will bring. My life, once happy and fulfilling, feels devoid of meaning and value. I guess I would say I am existing, as opposed to living. NO, I should never have been put on this drug. But I was. That’s just a sad reality, about which I am endlessly angry. Now I can only hope that I will never again be forced off of this drug. Oh the irony. Christine’s story makes my heart hurt and my “eyes water” –

          1. The trick is never give up and you must micro taper. I’m living proof I was on Benzos for 35 years. I took Xanax 20 years Klonopin 15 years. I tapered for nearly 2 years. 2 years benzo free fell normal again which I thought I’d never will. It’s been hell but can’t give up.
            Christine story breaks my heart. Doctors didn’t know what hell she was really going through! Rip

            1. May she rest in peace,
              Doctors don’t have a clue, no offence. That poor woman, she suffered so much, they could have helped her and should have. It’s an absolute nightmare. My condolences to her family.

      2. How are you doing now? I’m not well..back and forth on Ativan dose…horrible panic attacks …depression, anxiety, sadness…

    2. There is a fb group called beating benzos which I found really good. But do your research and taper slowly. There is also benzo buddies online which is also good. You can do this. Just don’t cold turkey. It can be very dangerous.

  9. I have tears flowing down my face as I read this and watch her suffering. She was so brave and if there is the God she believes in, he will surely comfort her now. Anyone who thinks that people who decide to go are cowards, try being in her body for 10 minutes.

  10. I have been on 1 mg of Ativan for 3 months. I have a debilitating autoimmune disease, ptsd, ocd, anxiety and depression. Anti depressants make me worse. I am 63 and the only time I feel ‘normal’ is when I take Ativan. I have a neighbor who has been on 3 mg a day for over 20:years and has no intention of stopping, He is also 63 and it gives him quality of life….maybe not quantity but quality. They are evil drugs for sure but one must weigh the pros and cons just like anything else. If I was 23 I would certainly think differently…but at 63 it’s a whole different ballgame,

    1. I am taking 7.5 mg of Ativan a day. My dr. Is tapering me 1/2 mg per month. I’m scared to death and plan to end my life before the symptoms begin. I have no other way. Iam 63 and have been taking this medication for 35 years.

      1. I took Xanax & Klonopin for 35 years. Never thought I’d live to tell that I’m now benzo free. I micro tapered for 2 years then finally starting feeling normal again which I thought I’d never will.
        Been off benzo’s for 2 years now.
        Micro tapering, and determination with patience got me out of 35 years of hell. I’m 54 now and have a quality of life that I fantasized about and thought was impossible for me. Doctors don’t know what people are feeling & going through and they want to taper people off to fast. That don’t work.

    1. No, benzos and other psych meds can be instruments of torture. Christine should have never been on them in the first place.

      1. I too went thru about 3 year of nonstop hell on earth from Lorazepam Brain damage. And I was considered short term use.

  11. About 6 months ago i sufferd from medical induced akathesia and let me tell you it was horrible. As of now I am doing alot better and am able to breath and sleep better now, I almost feel normal now. I can actually sit down without fittgiting and pacing around its great really. But when it first happened to me and found out it was the akathesia making me feel like this, I did some researching and stumbled on Christine video and i realized i wasn’t the only one going through it. Sometimes I felt suicidal and really didn’t think i could make it. I feel saddend by her death may God bless you and let you be in peace.

    1. I’m suffering from withdrawal. Does this get better? ANY information on how to make this ANY easier would help.

      1. Hi Reuben. How are you doing. I survived klonopin withdraw underMedical supervision in 2010 after taking it for 18 years. I was taking 3 mg when I came off.

        My initial recovery was a year. I was in n it off the hospital for 8 months.

        You can email me.

      2. Rueben , Hang tough it does get better. Was on highest dosage of 2 Benzoids for 13 yrs and got myself free of them after a weaning off period that lasted almost 2 yrs and have been Benzoid free for 14 months now. Has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone thru but you can do it!

      3. Pain in suffering from the beginning of life to known the truth is to know the pain all good things come to those who are vigilant in their steadfast stay in the line of pain understand it feel or harmonize with it become one with it for all it is is an experience nothing bad or good perception is the key motivation behind dealings

      4. It will get better. I was taking xanax daily for about 5 years. .05 3 times a day as prescribed for generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and insomnia/ chronic pain. I suddenly began taking and needing more than prescribed until I was out of 90 pills in a matter of 11,12 days. I would be in torture until I could get my prescription filled, losing my mind. I ended up going to inpatient treatment for 3 months which saved my life. I haven’t taken Xanax in 9 months. It was horribly difficult getting off them but long term inpatient treatment is essential to stop. I still struggle with restlessness and occasional insomnia but this is no comparison to the mental anguish I was victim to 24/7.
        Please consider inpatient treatment. The support and intensive therapy you receive is life changing. I never thought I would get better, but I did.

    2. I went cold turkey 6 weeks ago. How horrible and stupid. 18 year son Clonazepam (1 mg to 1.5 mg). I am FINALLY sleeping for about 6 hours a night with benadryl or melatonin. I just want to be better. Have tachycardia once in a while and I am not driving yet. See my internist in 12 days. Wonder how my blood work will be. I have lost about 10 lbs. (110 lbs. now) . Husband is wonderful but did’t know about the PAWS. I am 72 year sold and very angry that i was not told about the dangers of this drug! Had all of the withdrawal symptoms. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Please pray for me. Never felt suicidal but after watching her videos, I am not surprised. I just take is day by day as when I quit cigarettes 20 years ago through Nicotine Anonymous

  12. so sorry for the loss of Christine, I can not live through this torture either. A lot of people going through benzo withdraw are loosing homes, jobs, family, friends and forced to live on the street. so a great number more are dying homeless from benzo withdraw. I have met a gal named Julie who was going through benzo withdraw and was kicked out of her apartment and no one has seen her since. As for me, I will be another statistic to add to the benzo pure hell of taking my own life. I tried twice to taper off and I can’t do it. I have no one and must work or I will be on the street also, I can’t imagine freezing in the cold along with benzo withdraw. So I made the choice to stay on them, but I know I will be yanked again at some point. I have been on clonazepam for over 20 yrs. Taken as prescribed and Never a drug seeker as the doctors make you out to be! At 52 they told me to go the psych ward, where they took me off ct and gave me psychotic drugs and left me lay in my own piss. Then I had to go to a rehab and was told I am a drug addict!!?? in the rehab I was again left alone to suffer like no human or animal ever should. I never abused this prescription and I am not a drug addict! My doctor lost his license and a different doctor gave me 3 months to withdraw, it didn’t work, so I found a new doctor and was put back on after 3 months off and going through complete HELL, hallucinations, pain unbearable ,agoraphobic couldn’t go outside the terror had me frozen in time. I think I had a seizure because I woke up on the floor with a tooth knocked out. So I went back on clonazepam, I am trying to taper but I am not winning, already I lost memory and forget how to take a bath. I was told my doctor when first prescribed “these pills will never hurt you” well he was right about one thing, they won’t hurt you, THEY WILL KILL YOU! shana in PA

    1. in the rehab my blood pressure was sky high and pounding headaches non stop. They gave me (some red liquid to drink) never explained a thing just told me to sit in a circle with the others and say (Hello, I am shana, addict) well I wouldn’t say it. while others were saying they were heroin addicts, who put needles in their body! I never abused drugs so I won’t say I am an addict! So they left me alone in a room for days, cries for help were ignored by staff. I had to drag myself to a phone, and some “nurse” screamed, you can’t go in that room and use the phone, thank god, I got the call out before she grabbed the phone. My friend showed up with the police!! and took me straight to the ER dehydrated no food for days at the rehab.

      1. I came home from rehab 2 months ago. I tried to make an emergency call but couldn’t figure it out. I left rehab on stretcher with police and emt’s after my roommate stopped my active suicide attempt. Thank god you got out.

      2. Omg girl that’s exactly what they did to me. Sent me to a rehab and told me I’m an addict when all I ever took was klonopin given from a doctor for 20 hellish years. I’m free now of it thank god

    2. They can put you on them but cannot find a antidote to help you get off of them easily and more in a pleasant way?.

      1. Yeah, I know. I am still trying to get off valium and I am having horrible sx’s. I have been on benzos for more than 30 years now.

      2. ” A more pleasant way”? “Antidote”? WTF are you even doing on this site? This is about real world horror, torture and suicide! You signify the brainless beacon of neglect and ignorance that is leaving graves in it’s wake. WAKE UP!

        1. Dear Dullish

          I know exactly what you are saying with all my heart because I am where many others who comment on this page are.

          I have not slept for nearly 8 years and just wish for “Death with Dignity” which I am trying to obtain but it is illegal in the US for these symptoms if even people believe they are real ?. I have even tried CBD and THC as well as other prescribed medications to no avail.

          1. Kratom is very powerful powder in liquid it kept my horrible withdraws of Kolonopin at bay.. at bay.. nothing more. Eventually the withdraws get so bad I detached from my self literally like my body was so ill my spirit left and floated all but 3 feet next to me but never left as I was it’s owner. The detachment of spirit and psych to me was the bodies last resort before death to cope with the level of trauma and pain and suffering. At that time I felt I needed my medicine I called 6 doctors and paid over 600.00 cash to get a prescription took the pill and in 30 minutes I shit you not I was back. What is GABA potency in the human body? I’ve Withdrawled amphetamines opiates nicotine barbiturates and sex/orgasm food and sleep but they all pale in comparison to the Withdrawl of Xanax Kolonopin. I noticed all doctors who prescribe Benzos are on them too!!! There motto is your life is a mess take it and as much until you die of old age. And they all have weird animal bones and jewelry voodoo type shit in their offices hmm.. seems to weird

      3. Exactly, im been on benzodiazepines myself for 15 years. I never knew nothing about withdrawals or that benzodiazepines were meant for short term only. My doctor who has been dead for 4 years waa prescribing this crap like it was candy. Never told me nothing about them. But i will be honest i did abuse my pills at times. Man was that really dumb thing to do. I definitely regret it all. But like you said doctors know how to put people on these pills. But can’t find a solution a easier and pleasant way to get people off them. Its total bullshit cause i feel like doctors can find a solution to all this. And many benzodiazepines users would have to suffer horrible withdrawals from this devil drug.

      4. There is nothing closer to being in hell than this. The insomnia was so painful I also thought that I was going to end it all. I heard voices and my dreams would make horror films pale in comparison. Panic attacks during withdrawal were common. Try getting one while driving on a freeway in full traffic. I tried everything to help me to sleep but everything just made it worse. I slept 1.5 to 2 hours a night. Both sides of my temples were in pain beyond belief. I lost one to two pounds a day. I couldn’t go to the bathroom except to urinate. I started seeing bursts of smoke when I stared at anything. Complete psychosis. I still see these bursts sometimes years after. I couldn’t work, eat, exercise, think without intrusive thoughts. The morning I felt that I was going to take my life, I told my sister that I wanted to check out. She drove me to a psychiatrist. By the Hand of God this person saved my life. He told me that I would get better. That I was going to sleep and eat again. And it would start that evening. He prescribed Mirtazepine. A very low dose. That night I slept for 9 hours. I ate normally the next day. I over ate. I continued taking a very low dose just before bedtime for three months. The voices went away. The intrusive thoughts went away. The panic attacks went away. Praise God Jehovah. I then ordered a jewelers scale and stated weening off mirtazepine over an eight month period. Very very small steps. It’s been six years now. Don’t go to any doctor with this. All the ER and internists I went to wanted to prescribe more Ativan or Xanax. They don’t have a clue. Whenever I go to any medical office and they ask me if I am allergic to any medication I tell them benzodiazepines. If they ask me what it does to me I tell them psychotic episodes. This garbage should be illegal!!!

    3. I too have a Horrible 10 year story of Clonazapans. I was on 1.0 – 3 times a day for many years to treat Panic attacks. It seemed to me that when Weed became legal here in Canada, all the Doctors were scrambling to get us cut down on these meds? I am down to .5 when needed but I too went through 2 GrandMal Seizures during a very stressful time. I know it was related but couldn’t prove it. I pray you all get more help. I will be Praying for everyone! I have Never touched a street drug but I swear I could have died from Prescription Medications. I now smoke weed only 2 puffs a night and don’t need sleeping pills or anxiety Pills. Please Don’t give up? Hugs ?

    1. Yes. I agree. I was on Ativan only two months. I tapered off. I couldn’t breathe anymore while taking them I also stopped sleeping. It’s been a week. I sleep now. Last night 7 hours. I have the tremors and massive head pressure ringing ears. But , I’m alive. I’ve wanted to kill my self about a month after taking these things. But , I love life. I don’t drink or do any drugs. I’ve been off work and I feel like shit. It’s better that I’m not on them now , but the withdrawals are terrible. You are right , she didn’t kill her self , the Benzos did. I’ve said that to many of my family and friends that if I die , it wasn’t me that committed suicide. I was murdered by the doctors and their Benzos.

  13. I’m absolutely HORRIFIED. Christine & I met in high school gym class and would crush our competition in badmiton. We went on to be roommates after college, and she stood up in my wedding. I loved her dearly. I don’t understand how/why this medication would have been prescribed for treatment of hyperthyroid related tremors, it is not even indicated for that. Treatment of hyperthyroid symptoms is treated with a blocker medication, radiactive iodine orally to kill the thyroid or removal of thyroid followed by thyroid replacement therapy. Benzodiazepines are not indicated as a long-term treatment for anxiety, rather, treatment of anxiety with therapy/possibly combined with daily mood stabilizing agent is standard of care. I am also mortified that she was abruptly discontinued from this medication-a bad response IS PREDICTABLE. I can’t believe it, I wish, I wish, I wish things would have gone differently for her. I am physically sick seeing the videos. I admire Christine & Mike’s willingness to share the evils of this medication. When Chris Cornell took his life while on Benzos, I/many were and remain heartbroken. This medication should be OUTLAWED for outpatient use and only used in the most dire, acute situations only. RIP Christine, I will carry the memory of your beautiful spirit with me always. Love always, Jane

  14. oh my goodness im so sorry for your loss i have also endured akathisia in all its severity and had the same symptoms i managed to make it through after 2 1/2 of the struggle it is real and exactly how she described it please everyone be aware of this horrible condition and spread the word because even my doctor of 25 years couldnt recocnize it. my prayers to this family im so sorry for your loss these doctors need to be more educated on this if they are gonna hand out drugs like candy blessings jennifer

  15. I was taking 2 mg’s of Klonopin for thirteen years. It was prescribed to me initially for insomnia from a twenty four year exposure to solvents in the Printing field. A few years ago I began to taper off on my own, and in doing so went through about 2.5 years of HE##. As of last September 1st I finally ended my withdrawal and healed.
    Since then I have tried to help others on my YouTube channel called Neighbor Bob, and give some people hope and support. In doing so for over a year now I have been in contact through either e-mail or phone with so very many people just like this poor lady. This evil drugs should not be allowed to be in existence, and they are ruining so many lives across the world.

    1. Mr son was prescribed Ativan
      For one year
      Took him over year to taper off
      Has been off for 30 months and still suffering from protracted withdrawal
      I noticed u mention u got a hold of neighbor bob
      I have been trying to find contact info for him but can’t
      Is it possible u could share neighbor bobs contact info with me or if anyone reading this that might have it

  16. Imagine what life is like for me. I am a young woman in my 30s who also has Asperger’s Syndrome. In early 2014, I became dependent on ‘legal high’ benzodiazepines. They helped my Asperger’s anxiety when nobody else would help me, doctors are not bothered.

    My dose was very high, the equivalent to almost 1000mg of Diazepam each day.

    I was also dependent on over the counter codeine tablets at the time due to issues with severe pain.

    The agency treating me for this had NO idea how to deal with benzo patients, and I was told to stop asap or face a forced reduction of the subutex prescription that they issue for the codeine dependency.

    Not once has anyone addressed the pain or underlying issues. I already had severe menstrual problems which are over 80% responsible for these dependencies. I have never felt pain like it in all my life.

    In September 2016, a law was introduced outlawing these ‘legal highs’ so I could no longer buy them online. This addictions treatment agency refused point blank to help me with the benzos, refused me a taper, the lot.

    My life ended in September ’16. I have lost all my friends, cannot do any hobbies, cannot even walk now most days. This is two years ago now.

    My right leg hurts so badly that I have to stop every 20 yards or so, take all of my weight off it and try again for another 20 yards, repeat so on so forth.

    My menstrual periods are so painful now after withdrawal that I am passing out and delirious with the pain and bedridden for two days of each month. I also bleed randomly for days at a time and have really excruciating pelvic pain and pain on my left side in my pelvis and flank. It’s left me very emaciated and weak. Doctors are not bothered, they think I am ‘drug seeking’ so I stopped seeing them.

    Mentally, I am very, very weathered now. I am resistant to pretty much all hardships, my point of comparison being the withdrawal I have endured for two years.

    I have come out the other side mentally, I am way tougher, very stoic and in control of my emotions and feelings, a place no doctor has ever been able to get me.

    However my physical suffering is relentless, I have NOBODY to tell, I am, apart from my husband and our now very strained relationship, very isolated.

    I lost all my social group when I became bedridden with the withdrawal, nobody was interested. I got lots of encouragement to keep trying etc etc when I was actually on the stuff, but when I needed these people the most, they all abandoned me.

    My life consists of sleeping, trying to eat, trying to move slightly each day, taking over an hour to complete a 15 minute walk into town each week to collect the Subutex, having little income etc.

    I am very, very, VERY low in secret. I don’t like to talk about how I feel, there is a huge stigma attached to this. The whole ‘addiction’ and that ‘recovery’ blarney cannot be applied to benzos.

    The level of suffering involved is not something any ’12 step’ program or talking therapy or any other shiney happy recovery program is equipped to deal with. If anything, listening to others say how happy they are now they no longer use heroin etc, just depresses me even more. Heroin withdrawal is horrendous I know, even though I have never been through it, but even cold turkey only takes around two weeks to complete, then the work from there on out is mostly mental.

    With benzos, there is no end to this, these are my main symptoms now after two years:

    Feeling as if every single cell in my body is vibrating like an electric toothbrush.

    Severe menstrual issues/exacerbation of pre existing problems in this area. Irregular bleeds, very heavy bleeds, feel very weak, pass out/collapse on some occasions due to the pain and pain on the left side of my pelvis.

    Feeling sick when I wake up (could be food allergy) not that bad now

    Breathing difficulties, feels like my chest is blocked and I cannot force air past my throat.

    Random itching skin, tearing skin off in my sleep

    Severe, disabling pain in my right leg, which seems to be linked to my menstrual cycles, getting worse before each period or bleeding session then slightly better once I start bleeding. I sometimes wonder if there is something there pressing on my sciatic nerve, like a big ovarian cyst, but my doctor’s surgery is not bothered, they think because it involves pain, I must be seeking painkillers.

    I feel like I am even more autistic than I was before this, my Asperger’s anxiety was already extreme before the withdrawal, imagine what it is like now.

    This is a very lonely place, having lost my health, my friends, my hobbies etc.

    I refuse to discuss my feelings, the last time I tried, someone asked me what I had taken!.

    I understand why this woman did what she did, I understand very well.

    Without saying too much, I don’t know what my future holds.

    1. Hello ,sorry for my englisch,i Read your Story and i wann’ t to sey you are a Great whomen and i ‘m verry sorry that you are so alone whith your pain. My Boyfriend have to big Problem whith benzodiazepine.i Wisch you and for all the people all the best and God blass you,anna

    2. i m in a quasi similar situation as yours. i ve prayed for healing but there s no healing.total despair.

    3. I’m so so so sorry that you had to go through this.

      You seemed like such an emotionally intelligent person, who fought so hard.

      Your story may help other. I really hope it does.

      A lot of love from England to you and your family

    4. I think that you need a good female gynecologist for your female problems and maybe a good chiropractor for you sciatica. It is SO sad that you’re going through this. Do NOT give up hope.r

    5. Hi, I’m currently suffering as well from not only a 2 month Ativan Cold Turkey, but a adverse reaction to compazine that caused a severe Akathesia reaction. It’s been 1 year and 3 months since the reaction and 6 months off the Ativan. I’m still suffering and going through torture everyday. What it be best for me to reinstate on a longer acting benzo like Klonopin and then taper off later? Or since I’ve been 6 months off Ativan is it to late to reinstate a taper to help my symptoms? Thanks!

      1. I would taper using valium..I reinstated after seven months cold turkey. Just got worst. I’m three months into taper. Down to 8mg drop 2mg every fortnight. I’m from UK. Was lucky done my research and reinstated. These drugs cannot be cold turkey. Absolutely impossible. Find your tolerance on valium then taper 2mg every fortnight. Or how ever you feel. I’m not a psychiatrist or GP just saying what works for me. Plus Dr cains advice on natural supplements to create a gaba pathway for tapering has helped me a lot. Good luck my friend.x

      2. Just hang in there give it time. Take deep breaths. You don’t want to go backwards. You are this far out trust me give it time.
        However, if you feel you need to taper, you must micro taper.

    6. hope you are hanging in there! please look up the website for Center for Endometriosis Care for information. your pelvic and menstrual, sciatic and leg symptoms sound like endometriosis

  17. Such a sad story!I do not underestimate the discomfort of ativan withdrawal, however having had my thyroid removed because of Graves Disease, I can tell you first hand the symptoms Christine displayed very likely had more to do with the wrong dose of thyroid medication. It’s a shame that a good endocrinologist was unable to help her. For anyone out there who is still suffering from symptoms of benzo withdrawal after a reasonable amount of time, GET YOUR THYROID CHECKED! God bless all of you!!!

    1. My heart aches for this precious woman and her loved ones! Yes PLEASE GET YOUR THYROID CHECKED! This is EXACTLY what I figured out the hard way! I stopped Klonopin and was having some horrible symptoms but it was tolerable other than the no sleep until I hit the almost 2 week mark of withdrawl I could not go to sleep one night at all ! I kept trying but felt such fear and anxiety. Around 3 am I began having stomach issues and feeling very shaky and scared. My husband was getting up for work and I asked him to stay with me until it calmed down but things got very bad very fast! My heart began pounding so hard I felt like it was going to explode and could hear it ! I was shaking like I was having a seizure and I was so scared I felt as if I was loosing my mind literally! In that moment I felt as if I would never be the same and was terrified if I went to the doctor they would not know what was happening and put me in a mental hospital. My mind was not normal and I have never felt anything like this in my life! I was scared of everything and everyone except my husband! I felt I was about to die but could not even get to the point of asking for help! I grabbed a old bottle of klonopin and took 1/2 mg and I took some L theanine to try and calm my mind and heart rate down and layed in my bed with my husband squeezing his hand and shaking! I will NEVER forget that moment as long as I live and it was horrible! It still scares me to know our minds can get to that point that we feel like we are not human and are stuck in between the body and mind! I never want to feel that way again! Thankfully the klonopin and L theanine kicked in and must have lowered my heart rate and blood pressure enough to relax me! The next morning I did not take my thyroid medication because I was worried about my heart rate. I began reading about a thyroid storm and almost screamed! Every single symptom was exactly what I had gone through the night before! I showed my husband and he agreed ! I stopped all my thyroid meds and continued taking the L theanine as well as CBD oil and the very next night I slept 9 hours for the first time since starting benzo meds! I woke up the day after feeling more like myself again! Then each day I felt more and more like myself 9 yrs ago before ever touching any of the meds! I never once abused Benzo meds and actually took alot less than prescribed. I now know I was thrown into hyperthyroid state due to the benzo withdrawl ! I was in a thyroid storm and when I took my meds it was making it worse! I wish doctors would understand these medications are nothing to be messed with and putting patients on them for yrs then just taking them off cold turkey or to rapidly is extremely dangerous!! My doctor acted like it was no big deal to not fill my RX several times so I thought stopping it cold turkey would be fine especially since I was taking lower doses than most people. I have always been very emotionally stable and never imagined going through anything like what this medication did to my mind and emotions! I am still healing but by Gods grace I continue to get better everyday! My heart and prayers are with everyone who has been affected in anyway by these poisons! We have to share our stories and get something done about these toxins! These poisons are one of the devils greatest tools he uses today to attack our minds and they are disguised as a medication that helps numerous ailments just as anything the devil uses it seems like a miracle at first until we experience all the horror of it! By then it has done it’s damage and we are dependent on it just to function or the doctors rip it away instead of helping us get off ! (It was very hard for me to share this with anyone due to the guilt of me ever even taking these poisons, but I know it needs to be shared so others do not have to deal with this. Even if it helps one person It is worth it!)

    2. No. Not true. I had my thyroid checked. It’s the Ativan withdrawal. Don’t make light of peoples suffering.

  18. This wasn’t suicide. It was a murder. A crime. It is intolerable that there is no government oversight department dedicated to evaluating the decisions made by brain doctors. I say ‘brain doctors’ quite specifically because we are living in a dark age where we have allowed our governments to arbitrarily recognize a distinction between neurology and psychiatry, with the sole purpose being to distinguish between “physical” and “mental” symptoms. There is no such distinction in reality, and the subjective quality of “mental” symptoms has resulted in victims like Christine to be funneled (when in obvious acute neurological distress) from emergency rooms into the care of a quasi-medical faction that pushes a, quite frankly, superstitious ideology founded on late 19th century speculations by non-neurologists about the causes of disordered sensations, thoughts, and behaviors. As a result, they literally cannot take complaints about akathisia and suicidal depression therefrom seriously. All they have been trained to do is select a medication out their DSM and cross their fingers. Anything that doesn’t fit into their arbitrary picture must be ignored — hence, unethical psychiatrists (and there are many) hate talk of akathisia. It’s the biggest thorn in their side, apart from the pathetic record of inadequacy with respect to anti-psychotics actually quelling delusions and restoring normal cognition in meaningful ways for approximately 2/3 of patients suffering from acute neurological distress. Imagine if cardiology worked like that. No one would tolerate it. They are unequipped to treat these patients, but society has given them all authority.

    I appreciate that this is a community focused on the harmful effects of benzodiazepines that many people suffer, but I would be very surprised if in Christine’s case the akathisia wasn’t caused by the risperidone. Akathisia is one of the most prominent side-effects of risperidone, and it did not appear in the story above that she suffered from akathisia until after she was given risperidone. If her psychiatrist never warned her about akathisia or never picked up on it as it developed in the hospital, that psychiatrist is guilty of malpractice. Period. This is a crime.

  19. I am sorry Christine you had to suffer and die this way . My prayers are with your family , because i know they suffer also . I to still suffer everyday and hope there is help in the near future for all suffering and dying . Changes have to be made on the way these horrible Benzos are given out . MY thought is they should only be given by Shrinks after serious evaluation and study of the person and also explained what the outcome can be taking these Benzos and written consent that they understand what the complications can be also with family member , such as husband , wife , mother or father . WE go to these Doctors for help not understanding what is going on with us mentally . Other people need to be involved in the family when these scripts are given . My primary doctor started me out with antidepressants and after two years i wanted off , felt like a Zombie . Next the Benzos started and never seen a Shrink for evaluation just kept increasing the supply because they were not working , then he tried longer acting Benzos . I believe more has to be done by our government on protecting everybody and doctors need to be put on notice on how to taper and detox and have a better understanding of what these horrible drugs are doing . I do not have much time left on this Earth but will try to keep writing , so it might help someone that they can get thru these terrible times . Log your improvements and you will see things are getting better , everything takes time . You will improve by reflecting on everytime you feel a little better and not lay around on how bad you feel everyday , take them thoughts away . Try to eat healthy as possible and exercise , do not over do it . My new Doctor recommended a lack of vitamin blood test and showed i was low on Vit. B and Vit. C this also helps . Most of the things that i tried from other people going thru Benzo withdrawals on internet did not work . So take your time tapering and detoxing , time is on your side . Remember the Benzos we have taken overpower anything we try to make them go away . Time heals. You can become your own healer thru this and i try everyday on what my mind and body tell me . One year off Benzos and still have have hopes for the future 65 years young and have been thru alot in my lifetime like a lot of us have . Good Luck to all suffering from these damaging drugs .

  20. I began taking klonopin after returning from my third deployment in what used to be called the Global War on Terror. I’d developed a serious case of PTS(D), and suffered frequent panic attacks, uncontrollable general anxiety, and chronic insomnia. The benzos did help, by allowing me to work and function, when the alternative would have been isolation and personal and professional ruin. In time, though, I developed a dependence and began the spiral of abuse, after so many years of taking them as prescribed. At one point, in despair of ever freeing myself from the life-denying effects of chronic benzo use, I decided to quit cold turkey, on my own. I spent the following three weeks in a state of the most severe distress I’d ever experienced, even during the most frightening moments of my life. I could not eat or sleep and the wracking anxiety seemed certain to end my life. Ultimately, after resuming the benzos for another year, I submitted to detoxification in a local hospital followed by a 28-day program offered by the VA. It took another detox and another 28 day program before I finally stopped taking the drug. In both residential treatment programs in which I participated, most of my fellow patients were primarily addicted to opioids. However, a good number had also developed a dependence on benzodiazepines. Most told me that “kicking Xanax” was more difficult for them than ceasing opioid use. That was stunning to me. It has been three years now, and my mental acuity, memory, and joy for life are just now returning. So my story is one of hope and optimism, although it’s clear from reading the comments on this blog and from the many personal testimonies to be found online, that the manifestations of these drugs and the individual results are widely varied. But there are effective treatments, it appears. None of them are easy.

    1. Thank you for your service you pushed hard through your withdraw after being traumatized in war you paid twice and great things will come to you. I noticed when I cut out sugar all sugar just eggs and bacon on Withdrawl it helped during taper. Taper is best and maybe only way

  21. It is sad that all of us in the great United States of America have to suffer or die from Horrible Benzodiazepines and our government allowing it to happen . I suffer everyday along with millions of americans and people around the world.I never once abused Lorazepam or any other drug . My doctor of 17 years never told me it was addictive and kept me on it for around 8 years and just increased dosage as time went on . Then i started feeling lousy everyday and called him , he then suggested i switch over to a number of different Benzos , Miritzpine , clonazepam , any many others making me feel worse in the next four months . Then i had problems getting my prescriptions . So i called for appointment to see him and he told me that government was coming down on doctors on Benzos and said i needed to come off them take one every Friday . I got very nervous about this and asked Pharmacist about tapering and detoxing and she told his way was very dangerous . This doctor did no how to help me and went along with her six month taper program cutting dosage every two weeks . Got a new doctor and told her what i went thru and she suggested i see a shrink about Benzos and I did . He then suggested i go longer lasting Benzo for two years and then wean off , i then said no and left . Rehabs said the same to me . It has been a little over a year since i took my last Benzo and still have horrible withdrawals . Some good days but very few . Cannot work , finances diminished and health poor . Cannot find legal help or government help . I wish everybody the best going thru this and maybe someday their will be help for all suffering and dying from Benzodiazepines . I am sorry i cannot even donate to the Benzodiazepine Information Coalition . Thank You

  22. My wife is currently experiencing severe protracted Benzo withdrawal with many of the same symptoms as Christine, plus many others. By far one of the worst symptoms is the Akathisia and my wife has never been prescribed nor taken any anti-psychotic medication although a psychiatrist did attempt to prescribe one to her early on in her withdrawal which she smartly refused, so in my opinion it is even more irresponsible to suggest that benzodiazepine withdrawal is not the cause of the Akathisia than it is to suggest it is. In my wife’s case she had been on a fairly large dose of Xanax(6mg) daily for more than 25 years. Her family doctor had been stripped of his license to prescribe controlled medicines such as opiates and anti anxiety medication due to over prescribing for many years. My wife had no choice but to taper very quickly and is now paying an enormous price six months into an ordeal that can only be described as a total nightmare with no end or reprieve in sight. She is very nearly at the end of her rope and is seriously considering taking her own life something less than a year ago she would have never considered. The symptoms continue to worsen every day more than six months in. From the research we have undertaken it is consensus that starting a new Benzo regime would not be a very good idea particularly after being off it for so long. Anyone suggesting this course needs to do more research especially in the area of a phenomenon known as kindling. I suppose as an absolute last resort it may be an option but where I live the chances of finding another doctor who will prescribe her Xanax is virtually nil. I pray every day for her to get some relief to no avail. How a condition endured by so many has remained virtually unknown to virtually everyone except those suffering and the people who are closest to them is unfathomable. I don’t know how long I still have with my wife and I feel utterly helpless as there is no hope.

  23. I have read Christine’s story on every Benzo website. But I have serious doubts her AKATHISIA had anything at all to do with a Benzo. The antipsychotic she was taking risperidone causes AKATHISIA and while taking it. I just read a post from a person who suffered from AKATHISIA while taking risperdone and her Dr would only increase her dose making it worse. She described AKATHISIA as something so horrible to suffer. Also as a matter of fact SSRI’s and first generation antipsychotics are first on the list to cause AKATHISIA before Benzo withdrawal. I understand Benzo protracted withdrawal is a very real issue but cannot understand why her medications she was taking have not been investigated by the Benzo websites. It appears Christine herself was convinced her AKATHISIA was caused from a Benzo due to a Benzo website when IMO likely as I have stated it was not.

    1. I have to second your opinion, Sue.
      Benzo withdrawal support groups are VERY crucial in their role of providing info that far too many prescribing doctors are woefully unaware of – the problems of tolerance, dependence, and withdrawal. And when a patient wants to get off of benzos, either because of adverse effects, or just because they’d prefer to not be taking a drug (which may have lost its efficacy anyway at some point), these same doctors have no clue about the need to taper extremely slowly, and some, as in Christine’s case, just pull her off cold turkey – a recipe for clinical disaster.
      But some benzo support groups err in the opposite direction. Benzos start to be seen as pure evil – the cause of every symptom one might have, either while someone is still taking them, or during their withdrawal. I’m shocked that none of the support groups thought to consider her worst symptom as a common adverse effect of Risperdone, and just immediately said, “Benzo withdrawal!!” (I’m more shocked that none of her doctors thought about that either).
      I’m also shocked that the support groups didn’t consider an obvious option – she had cold-turkeyed off of the drug, which is NOT a good idea. The one thing that can stop a severe benzo withdrawal is…getting back on the benzo – and once ridding oneself of the withdrawal. If adverse effects are still a serious problem and one wants to get off of them, then doing a 2nd, MUCH SLOWER taper off is a better option than dealing with the cold turkey aftereffects.
      But the overreaction of seeing benzos as pure evil often blinds some to using it as an option – either to reinstate them to halt a cold turkey severe withdrawal, or (as some above have mentioned), if adverse effects are not a problem to a patient but prolonged withdrawal would be (and one has a limited number of years left), to just continue taking them if withdrawal is too serious of an ordeal.
      Just as an overreaction to the opiate crisis is causing many doctors to cut off many chronic pain patients from their opiates, which might be their only means of avoiding severe chronic pain, it wouldn’t be wise to force patients on benzos off of them, if the problem of serious protracted withdrawal is worse than any adverse effects they may or may not be having while on their benzo.
      A middle ground needs to be found.

      1. I am contemplating a NAD withdrawal. It didn’t work. I was removed from 1mg of clonopin at a facility in August I am hardly going to work can’t focus. What happened at the NAD withdrawal

    2. I developed akathisia and other extrapyramidal symptoms simply from Ativan. It came on a little while I was on it and full blown when I cold turkeyed in a clinic with a failed NAD IV. Yes benzo can cause extrapyramidal symptoms. It’s been 18 months and I’m still having extrapyramidal symptoms and protracted withdrawal similar to what she describes. It’s pure hell. I had no prior history of mental illness. I was put on Ativan not knowing I was being poisoned by toxins in my environment.

  24. I have no words but sadness. But can’t help wonder what allowed her to suffer like this for 21 months surely something could have helped. She was taking risperidone which AKATHISIA is a common side effect while taking. This is why so important to investigate and not always blame Benzo’s. SSRI’s commonly cause this type of anxiety while taking and after stopping. As a matter of fact the violent behavior often associated with SSRI’s is being blamed on AKATHISIA.

  25. ty for sharing this..I am so sorry for loss of Christine…I lost my best friend due to same thing ..stories almost identicle…this needs awareness! And prayers out to those going through this or who has lost a loved one

  26. So sorry for Christine emotional pain is horrible poor soul. on ativan 27 years ,now on small long taper now .125 Dr wanted me to do 1 month taper tried that once and a total disaster. So hope this works.don’t drink or use other drugs.never have. It did great for sleep 1 mg.been on small taper for one and half years from .50 to .125 for 6 months. So far so good. Of course I’m not totally off. The thyroid got rid of mine that was a ride can’t imagine having to cope with withdraw at same time. Body can’t configure that whole case scenario.poor soul I know she was in emotional pain extreme.I’m 73.

  27. I pray for dearly for Christine and her family.

    I also pray for anyone going through this terrible pain of taper/wd who reads this article. While it’s an extremely important message for the doctors and those thinking of getting on benzos, many of us are in a vulnerable state and hope this story doesn’t trigger a reaction. If you do feel suicidal/like hurting yourself, please talk to someone now. I know I have and will continue. Our benzo brains can really tell us false stories…don’t believe them!

    1. So sad, and that they removed her thyroid.
      Not enough info but nothing about if after they removed her thyroid did the Dr and replacement meds! When your thyroid is removed a person is then Hypothroid the rest if their life and replacement meds have to be taken for the rest of a persons life.
      Her life would have been even more horrible with the withdrawal, but with the thyroid being removed then a person is hypothroid that alone is horrible and especially if no replacement meds were given and adjusted every month and for life.

  28. I am a long time Benzo addict and went through the same withdrawl at various times of my life. I really wish doctors would be made to go through some major training as far as addiction goes. They perscribe these drugs without knowing the side effects and not knowwing if there is any addiction history in families or anything. These drugs are only for short term use because hey are so addictive. These are right up there with heroin. The scary thing is they even perscribe these when heroin addicts are wanting to get clean and they ultimately end up using them with heroin and dying. I remember being in detox coming off these drugs and the heroin addicts would say how bad thier withdrawl was and I would think I know you don’t how bad this is. It lasts for months too. These drugs destroy lives. I will pray for Christines family.

  29. Thank you for taking the time to write this wonderful tribute to Christine. You tell her story in a way that honors her and brings awareness to the ongoing ignorance that surrounds Benzo’s. It so important to tell stories like Christine’s to help save other lives. May her suffering not be in vain.

  30. I’ve been on benzodiazepines for 40 yrs. they make me normal. I’ve tried to taper down myself on occasion but I get the horrible panic attacks and my agoraphobia becomes debilitating without my full dose. Perhaps if my husband who was my rock was not dead I could get off of them. With my pain meds now gone and in pain from 2 back surgeries and 2 rear end collisions the last by an 18 wheeler I will commit suicide without the Xanax. I’ve never had any bad symptoms except from Ativan but know from being an RN for 40 yrs coming off cold can kill someone. Please leave my Xanax alone I don’t have that much longer.

    1. Anne, like you, I have been on benzos most of my life. I am 62.5. I’ve endured four forced withdrawals and even my husband does not see the point of making me stop my daily 1 mg Klonopin, even though I have tolerance and interdose withdrawal.That’s far better than the constant, unrelenting HELL of full-blown withdrawal that would define the rest of my life. Another 15 years, at best?

    2. I’ve been taking Xanax about 15 years and I’m currently being taken off of them. I had a very stressful weekend with my youngest daughter and a few days after had a panic attack that put me in the hospital for a week. My children are adults but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about them and my oldest passed away 5 years ago. Xanax is only thing that stops the thoughts in my head and allows me to go out in society, occasionally. I can get by with 2 .05 mg of Xanax a day but doctor says No! My doctor actually told me my children aren’t going to change so I should just Idk give up? Stop seeing them? Die? I’m by myself, no husband or significant other, I’m not very social at all and ONLY family I have is my children and grandchildren. I just don’t understand why it’s a big deal… if I’m not abusing and they’re helping me get by with life, why take them away? I’m already living past my due date… give some sympathy!!!

    3. I pray Anne you never become completely tolerant to the Xanax like I did. You will experience a hell on earth like you have never known before.

  31. My wife was prescribed this same drug and for a trivial reason, and similarly without any warnings. After a few months it was clear her raft of new debilitating symptoms – inability to smile, constant lethargy, shaking and numbness, etc. – were caused by the drug. But doctors simply wanted to increase dosage or add more benzodiazepines! We went through many doctors, all of whom had the same approach, never blaming the drugs. I studied the online benzo user forums. Eventually we dropped the doctors, bought a scale and sandpaper and shaved her tablets down a tiny amount daily over many, many months, basically following the published protocols of Dr Heather Ashton. My wife is now smiling and back to normal.

    1. If the doctors had only tapered her with reasonable reductions Christine may still be alive today. I was one of the lucky ones that had a very compassionate doctor. I took 4 mgs of Xanax a day for 13 years. When tolerance took hold the insanity began. I was immediately taken off the Xanax and it was replaced with 20 mg of valium. Every two weeks we eliminated 2.5 mgs and the taper was completed in 6 months. It was an easy transition for me. I have now been off benzodiazepines for 2 years and suffered only minor withdrawal symptoms. I know this may not work for some. I know I was lucky enough to fall into the small percentage of those that have minimal problems with discontinuance. God bless each and everyone of you for your courage to try. My heart goes out to those who suffer protracted withdrawals.

      1. Denise could you explane how you removed 2.5 mgs off a 20 mg pill,how did the transition to new meds work over lap til next one took affect..similar situation here..

        1. This is so so sad… I almost can’t believe it…Not switching to long acting agent and the equivalent dose, no tapering, no help.If she was tapered off she would be still among us.
          Every doc, nurse, pharmacist know that benzos have quite good addiction potential.I can share you somethings with you bout lorazepam. At some point of my life life I was abusing benzos, experimenting with myself. I know that is dangerous (Do not recommend). So I had different kind of benzos. I told to myself hmmm lorazepam has half-life of about 10-12 hours, seems to be me something between short and intermediate duration of action. Let’s see what’s going to happen. Started using a daily high doses. And at some point I remember I was like on 3-4 mgs and about less than then 5-6 hours I started to very restless, anxious… I was thinking how is this possible?! My system had been full with this stuff. What is going on?! So I came to conclusion that short to intermediate duration of effect are the most addicting, also they have something I find a bit strange – withdrawal symptoms CAN occur as early as 5-6 hours or even less (depend how much and long u have been using) after your last dose. So I switched to clonazepam – long acting, same potency,. Equal dose. After some months of tapering I decided to quit. I switched to a very long acting agent – diazepam. Using not the equivalent dose but 1/5 less. Over months I tapered. When I reached about 5-10 mgs I found it very difficult to quit… So now I use diazepam from time to time (especially when I can’t sleep)
          There are some important things to mention
          When your dose is high cutting down fast is easy.
          When dose is somewhat low is quite hard.
          You should be put on a long acting agent and its equivalent dose. Your tapering should be slow and to provide you with comfort. You need help,
          Healthy eating and sport is helpful. Psychotherapy also (talk therapy). Sedating antihistamines such as hydroxyzine are beneficial, clonidine might be.

          If you have or suspect addiction problems seek help.

      2. Horrible story!!! Dr’s should be in jail and beaten for this stuff that happens to innocent people. Shame on Dr’s, pharmacists, the FDA and big pharma for allowing this stuff to continue when they knew benzos were dangerous right after they came out. They hid the information because valium was a blockbuster drug and money was high on the list. We are supposed to believe that these are “professionals”?? A professional doesn’t blame their tools so that means Dr’s are fully responsible for any and all deaths or ruined lives from these horrific poisons.
        My life was ruined by these piece of junk meds as well and my Dr tried to cover it up and I caught him. All Dr’s are guilty because they cover up each other’s mistakes and no one can deny this…it’s a brotherhood. RIP
        There should be a few thousand Dr’s in prison rotting away for the damage they have caused. They deserve zero sympathy and should even be sued beyond their means. This should NEVER have happened, how many have passed yet we haven’t heard about? I imagine the number to be astronomical…zero respect for the medical industry…less than zero!!!

        1. Hi Tyler, was wondering how you are doing? I also suffer . I was Ativan for 2 months . I Went into the hospital and they prescribed another drug not sure which one caused it .
          My Gp doesn’t believe me . What should I do ?

    2. Great to hear your wife is back.
      That is the only thing that worked for me was to micro taper for 2 years. Been off benzo’s 2 years now. Just starting to feel normal.