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24 Comments

  1. Thank you for the reassurance that time will heal. I am in protracted benzo withdrawal. At the moment I’m in a rebound of symptoms.

  2. I was on Klonopin for a year as prescribed for anxiety and Burning Mouth Syndrome, 0.50mg/ day for 9 months, increased to 0.75mg/day for additional 3 months. Beginning Feb 2018, I realized that I developed drug tolerance and needed to get off due to severe interdose withdrawal symptoms. Despite all of these withdrawal symptoms (palpitations, fear, rebound anxiety, various pains and discomfort all over my body), I continued to taper.

    I am approaching 2 years since the start of this journey from hell and successfully reduced my dose from 0.75mg to 0.1125mg a day. I did not have any support by any of my doctors other than my husband despite all of my efforts. The only info I received was from Benzo Buddies and Ashton Manual. However, my psychiatrist eventually came to realization that there are patients like me having difficulty coming off benzo’s and continued to prescribe this med during my taper.

    Right about 0.35mg, I started with a suspension solution prepared by my pharmacist, since I could not cut the pills to the desired dose any longer. Based on the advice of my psychiatrist, I took the swab test for the various SSRI’s and benzo’s. The results indicated that valium is not a good option for me due to increased liver toxicity and I continued tapering directly from Klonopin without switching to valium.

    At this dose 0.1125mg a day, I am having great difficulty to determine the % of taper and duration of the holds. Anxiety, palpitations, burning sensations throughout the body, depression and sadness at times are very much effecting my decision at each taper. I still wonder if switching to valium should be an option despite the swab test results or stop taking it at this point. When do most people jump off???

    I need some advice as I continue on this journey. I don’t know where to get it any more.

    I wish best of luck to all of the benzo sufferers through their struggle and pray for their success.

  3. I was on Clonazepam for 15 years taken as prescribed for anxiety .5mg twice a day. Finally found a new doctor because things got worse, but in a different way. I was just diagnosed with high functioning autism which is basically aspergers. I am going through these symptoms but not a traditional “addiction”. It has ravaged dell on my mental state and I am slowly recovering and feeling whole again. I had 15 years of my life ruined because of these and I am not exaggerating at all. I had no idea they were effecting me, these drugs are sneaky and you have no idea until you start feeling normal again. I have played guitar for 10 years and been unable to get passed my skill level at 5 years. 30 days of my meds and I am about 6 months away from playing at an advanced level. My memory has returned, my coordination is back. It got so bad while I was on the meds that my playing dropped to a new players skill level. Scariest thing I have ever went through but I am so glad I did. If you are reading this and wonder if you can do it, you can, I have high functioning autism and I did.

    1. SO yes I psychiatrist do like to pick a medical condition, write the number, and call it truth when you are hard to figure out. Get second opinions, then a 3rd when you are put on long term meds.

  4. I am on lorazapam, was prescribed not knowing the hell you have trying to get off of it.One doctor tried tapering me to quickly, and it was the most horrible thing I have ever hone thru. I am scared to death. I’m not rich.,so I guess I’ll have this problem till I die.

  5. I am so scared. My doctor pout me on 2mg of Klonopin at bedtime for GAD and chronic insomnia. It has been 12 years. In 2018, my orthopaedic surgeon performed 4 failed total knee replacements due to his malpractice. Adding insult to injury, HE prescribed oxycodone every week for almost exactly 365 days.

    In January of this year, I realized I needed to get off everything and well to detox for a 5 day clonidine taper. I got out February 6th. It is now March and I feel horrible. I still have all the physical symptoms (anxiety, chest burning, dizziness, rebound chronic insomnia, etc). I am scared to death because I don’t know f this is normal. No doctor will tell me. In fact I think that all doctors are scared of me at this point since I am demanding answers. I am a lawyer with my own practice. Between the constant knee surgeries, continued withdrawal symptoms, detox, and a residential program, I am facing financial ruin. I can’t work and the insurance company is denying all treatment that I participated in.

    Am I normal? Will I ever be normal again??

    1. Jackie- sounds like you have really been through it. I applaud your decision to get clean but a 5 day detox—wow that is really fast. It takes a long time for the brain to heal from long term benzo use. With continued use the brain basically “shuts down” the number of sites that benzos and GABA (your brains chemical that normally stimulates this site) stimulate. A lack of GABA is NOT the problem. I suggest you look to facebook for support groups- there are several. What is generally recommended is converting to a low potency long acting benzo like valium and then tapering only 10% every 2-3 weeks. I think you came off way to soon- My belief that’s youf problem

    2. Dear Jackie ,I just read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I ha e lived through what you are living through, it took three years ,,,I am now whole, please know ,,keep tapering ,,and after that’s over your still sick and it’s horrific and I believe you. I am whole, well, and have my life back. I do not trust Drs, it is a horrible drug and gives you symptoms that you did not have to begin with, please know your not alone. Wish I could help more, never ever give up. Take it day by day hour by hour and you will sleep again, love again, have a life again. With love Sally

  6. Dr. Matthew Brink my family Dr. recently cut me off cold turkey. I was prescribed klonopin 2mg. 2× daily for 13 years. Switched from valium 10 mg. 4× daily for 12 years. Went through horrible withdrawal for about 7-10 days. Couldn’t take it anymore saw a psychiatrist he wouldn’t prescribe klonopin. Saw family Dr. last week had panic attack in front of Dr. He just sat there. Pulse doubles, face turns peaked, heart is beating irregular. Again I ask him for a script for my klonopin he says no I don’t write for control substance. The whole time he asks me what’s wrong? I said”I’m having a panic attack.
    So until I can find a Dr. That has a “pair” and puts his patients before worrying if he gonna be able to buy that new Ferrari I will continue to buy mine off the streets. I do have a sister whose a pharmacist I don’t dare ask her for anything. That’s how she makes a living. Not to mention 5 years of the number 3 rated pharmacological school in the country.

    1. Scott, please try and find a Doctor or a psychiatrist who will help you taper slowly. Cutting you off cold turkey is out of the question, as I have feared for my life twice in the last year under that circumstance. If all else fails, check into a detox program and throw all financial concerns to the side and deal with them later. Make sure you get a good program though, and stay clear of any that have reviews saying they are an insurance scam! MOST IMPORTANTLY, don’t go to the street because you don’t know what is in that stuff. Their could be Fentanol which is DEADLY. Please look for other sources of help, your Doctor doesn’t get it.

  7. I am a retired nurse who suffered a back injury several years ago and was prescribed Valium 10 mg at bedtime for insomnia and muscle spasms. “This is the BEST muscle relaxer available” … said the neurosurgeon to me.
    Taking the Valium was/is the biggest mistake of my life. I feel as if my very soul is missing from my body. I feel weak and very ill.
    I have never taken more than the prescribed amount and I didn’t recognize the withdrawal symptoms of ‘tolerance’. I began my own taper two years ago and it is hellish. The tinnitus and short term memory loss are frightening.
    I truly fear I will never be the same… I am a 60 yr. old wife, mother, and grandmother. I feel I have robbed my family of ‘really being there’ for them as I am no longer myself.
    Thank you, Dr. Huff for your courage in coming forward to share your experience of the horrors of these drugs. I hope and pray other physicians will sit up and take notice.

    1. Kaye, I too am a Mother of 2, wife and hard working career woman who is now 50, recovering from many years of being prescribed xanax for generalized anxiety. I too feel like it took part of my soul and stood in the way of my being present for everything I should have been with my family. I was transitioned 3 months ago from 3mg per day of xanax to a quick taper of 3/2/1 mg of ativan. When I was cut off over a year ago cold turkey from xanax by my Doctor, I went into a hellish withdrawal complete with muscle spasms, vomiting, chest pains, heart palpitations, and extreme fatigue and believed I was going to die. I am still weaning off the ativan now and experiencing some lesser version of the symptoms I experienced cold turkey. I have had to stick with the doctor that cut me off over a year ago because he is the only one willing to continue to prescribe ativan to me while I continue to wean, because I can’t currently afford a psychiatrist who may or may not even do the same thing for me. My recovery is slow but consistent, however it is still a struggle, given the amount of time I was on xanax and how much I was being prescribed. I wish you all the best and I know this can be conquered. We can’t feel any more guilt for following the advice of our doctors because we are now fully responsible for the rest of our lives, and our families will benefit greatly from what we are able to do now, vs us wasting time worrying about the past. My best to you!

      1. Thank you for sharing, Shari. I am currently searching for a doctor who is willing to help me with this taper. Somehow we will get through this. Best wishes to you as well.

        1. Hi, I went through cold turkey Jan. 2018. I spent all of 2018 trying to find a dr. To validate and believe and then to help me taper. I had no success I bought them off the street and tried my own taper still too rapid. I was on Clonzapam 1.5 to 2.5 daily for over ten years. I hope you are able to find a Dr.who helps this last year of utter hell could have been avoided. I had my very last dose ever Dec. 2018. I’m at a full year of not being able to drive or sit in anything that moves. Mainly a car. The anger and resentment are still very present and real. I would actually delight to see a Dr. or pharmaceutical head suffer as many, many have the humiliation, loss, pain, suffering.

  8. I am a nurse which can be very stressful and demanding.my pcp started me on Xanax 1mg three time a day for anxiety 9 years ago.im currently having tolerance withdrawals which are pretty bad.my doctor doesn’t seem to understand or care to learn. I’m attempting to taper any advice

    1. Karen, I was on the same dosage, and had been prescribed xanax many years back for my anxiety. I hope you are on a gradual taper. Back in November I went to a treatment facility where I was switched from the 3+mg xanax to ativan, starting with 3mg for 5 days, then 2, then 1mg. over a 10 day period. Three months later I was down to 1mg ativan and have recently dropped to .5 per day, which is still causing me symptoms but not as bad. If there is any advice I can give you, it would be to keep looking for a doctor who does get it. You need someone who will continue to prescribe a less potent dosage of another benzo until you are in the clear. Personally I had no success trying to wean off the xanax itself because of my extreme dependence toward it, rather, I have been able to wean off the ativan gradually because I do not get any “euphoria” from it, thus it is easier for me to stay on a regimented dosage and decrease it over time. I was a defenseless prisoner to “popping” the xanax “as needed” which was around the clock, until I was switched to another benzo with NO access to xanax whatsoever. It has been a difficult battle but I now see what xanax was doing to my life, and I will never turn back. Please be patient with yourself, and above all do not try and go off too quickly and find the right doctor or psychiatrist who will support your recovery by believing that you want to taper and continuing to prescribe until you are safely ashore.

  9. Thank you Dr Huff for your poignant article on
    Benzodiazepine dependence and addiction. My wife currently has all the symptoms of benzo withdrawal. She has been on Xanax for the past 20 + years initially prescribed by me in my ignorance. Of course she developed tolerance. I am trying to help her. She is not at the point that she wants to attempt gradual reduction. She is 81 years old and has many symptoms of withdrawal with all negative workups. I will continue to encourage her and support her. At the present time I do as much as I can for her. Thanks for your helpful article.

  10. I am having withdrawal after being g floxed by cipro..I am taking clonazepam.
    I am going to the doctor today to have her switch me to valium.. this I fo is very helpful.. thanks..

  11. It’s great that your sharing your experience if only other doctors would be open to learning more about this. it seems like only if the doctors experience withdrawal from benzos they understand what we are going through. I don’t know why they don’t want to listen and learn from the doctors that are or were going through the suffering of withdrawal first hand because they don’t want to listen to the patients they prescribe benzos to. hope that other doctors are reading this. God bless all benzo sufferers

    1. Paul, in some cases I have found that doctors who originally prescribed benzos have been recently informed they must cease and desist in prescribing them, and some who were all so readily dispensing these drugs in the last 3 decades are now treating those who are dependent like street addicts. Some of us who have been looking for help have been treated poorly by the medical profession, and have been left to our own to figure this out and search for resources to get us through withdrawal. I am hoping there will be more education for the medical profession going forward as to the struggle and potentially deadly withdrawal patients are facing that have fallen into the benzo and/or opiod trap.

  12. I used and abused benzos for insomnia for 30 years. The last 12 years they were legally prescribed….reputable psychiatrist. Over the years I had many odd, painfull, scary symptoms. I soungt medical advice. I was told I might have MS, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Parkinsons and many other things. I knew I felt awful most of the time. My health gradually slipped downward. I began falling a lot. My weight dropped from 125 to 89 lbs. I broke several major bones in those falls and spent too much time in Rehabs. My Primary Care doctor finally thought he had figured it ouy and called my psychiatrist. Between the two of them they decided to force me into a Detox Program to go cold turkey.
    We all know this isnt the right or best thing to do. But with a very few people, it just might be their only hope of a normal healthy life without benzos. This is true about me. My acute withdrawal was so horrendous I still cannot quite describe it. Then it very slowly morphed into just outright misery that lasted about 4 years. The only thing that helped me was finding information and support on BenzoBuddies. Once I began to slowly understand that I had NOT gone insane, I started learning how to cope with my hundreds of symptoms. The support I got there was just tremendous.
    I applaud all of you who are trying to make physicians more responsible when it comes to benzos.