For over 20 years, I took lorazepam daily—typically 3 mg—for anxiety. Over time, it became a part of my routine, and like many long-term users, I didn’t initially anticipate the physical and emotional dependency that would develop. While benzodiazepines can provide relief, long-term use can also lead to tolerance, physiological dependence, and withdrawal challenges that are often underestimated.
I decided to stop and flew to an inpatient medical detox facility, where I stayed for about
seven days. During that time, I began experiencing chest pain, which escalated and required
an ambulance ride to the hospital for a full inpatient cardiac workup. Fortunately, the tests
confirmed that my heart was healthy, but the experience was frightening and disorienting.
Benzodiazepine withdrawal can also cause autonomic dysregulation, where the body’s
automatic nervous system becomes overactive or unstable. This can lead to symptoms such
as high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, sweating, shaking, temperature fluctuations, and
adrenaline surges. Understanding that these symptoms are part of withdrawal—not
necessarily a new or worsening medical disease—helps contextualize the fear and intensity
of this period.
After hospital discharge, I transferred to a recovery center. Initially, the staff tried to start
me on Valium at 9 p.m., and I was unable to reach a medical provider to discuss it. That
situation put me over the top with frustration because I had already discarded my
lorazepam and considered that my last dose. When they initiated a taper, I initially refused
the medication because, to me, it was a medical mistake and felt like going backward.
During the first week at the recovery center, I also experienced benzodiazepine-induced
psychosis—confusion, disorientation, and difficulty distinguishing reality from my own
thoughts. The environment was chaotic and overstimulating, which added to an already
fragile state and stress. About a week into my stay, I woke at 2 a.m. unable to move my left
side and feared I was having a stroke. My blood pressure was also extremely high. After
talking with my wife, we decided it was safer to continue carefully through withdrawal
rather than risk major medical complications.
The recovery center experience was challenging in other ways. Most people there were
struggling with addictions of all types. I was asked to identify as an addict and attended
Alcoholics Anonymous or similar meetings every day, which added to my stress. I didn’t feel
like an addict and ultimately refused internally to do so. I had taken benzodiazepines as
prescribed—3 mg a day—and had never engaged in behaviors common in other addictions,
such as buying on the street or using outside medical guidance. The traditional addiction recovery environment often does not understand prescription benzodiazepine withdrawal,
and being in that setting added extra stress.
There were also multiple medication errors at the recovery center, including doses and how
my medications were handled. As a pharmacist, I felt I had to manage my own medications,
which was extremely frustrating because I was not in the physical or mental condition to do
so. I raised many concerns about the system of care, but this added another layer of stress
on top of the withdrawal process.
Communicating with the outside world was difficult. I would call my wife early in the morning around 5 a.m., before others were up for their medications. During group activities from morning through early afternoon, I couldn’t reach anyone outside, and then I tried again in the evening after everyone had blow tests and medications, before going to sleep. All phone calls were either listened to by another person or conducted with staff from the recovery center present, which was extremely difficult because I didn’t always want to share everything I was going through with the staff or have them overhear me discussing situations with my wife. There were a few times I called my wife and told her I was leaving because I felt overwhelmed. My wife stayed patient and supportive through all of this, staying up at night waiting for my calls and waking early to talk in the morning, which was crucial support during a very isolating time. I stayed at the recovery center for about 30 days in total before returning home. At the time of writing this narrative, I am now six months into my recovery journey. After returning home, I was initially afraid I would not be able to continue working because my nervous system was still very much in turmoil. I felt disoriented, emotionally labile, and physically fragile. Fortunately, I was able to return to work and have continued to move forward successfully, which has been a major milestone in my ongoing recovery. The acute withdrawal period was only the beginning of a long recovery journey. Over time, I learned that recovery unfolds in distinct phases, each with expected symptoms and milestones.
Typical Benzodiazepine Withdrawal and Recovery Timeline
- Acute Withdrawal (Days 1–14)
Symptoms: Anxiety, agitation, insomnia, tremors, autonomic hyperactivity (elevated
blood pressure, rapid heart rate, sweating), mild perceptual changes.
Notes: Symptoms often peak within the first week; severe complications like seizures or
psychosis are rare but possible with high-dose or long-term use. - Early Withdrawal / Transition Phase (Weeks 2–6)
Symptoms: Continued sleep disturbances, emotional lability, fatigue, irritability, mild
cognitive slowing. Symptoms: Continued sleep disturbances, emotional lability, fatigue, irritability, mild
cognitive slowing.
Notes: This phase involves the body adjusting to reduced benzodiazepine levels;
intensity typically lessens compared to the first week. - Subacute / Protracted Withdrawal (Weeks 6–12)
Symptoms: Anxiety or panic may linger, intermittent autonomic fluctuations, cognitive
“fog,” mood swings.
Notes: Many users experience fluctuations in energy, focus, and sleep quality. Symptoms
often improve gradually. - Intermediate Recovery (Months 3–12)
Symptoms: Cognitive clarity improves, sleep stabilizes, emotional resilience grows,
autonomic symptoms largely manageable.
Notes: Reintegration into work, social life, and routines is generally possible. Triggers
and stress may still provoke temporary symptom flare-ups. - Long-Term Recovery (1 year+)
Symptoms: Most withdrawal-related symptoms resolve; some sensitivity to stress or
sleep disruption may persist.
Notes: Ongoing self-care, stress management, and support networks help maintain
recovery.
Recovery Considerations
- Autonomic dysregulation is normal in withdrawal—understanding it reduces fear.
- Chaotic or overstimulating environments amplify withdrawal symptoms.
- Medical supervision and individualized tapering are critical.
- Family support and consistent communication are invaluable.
- Knowledge of medications can help anticipate complications but may also increase
frustration when the system is imperfect. - Recovery is not linear: fluctuations in symptoms, allergies, illness, or life stressors can feel
like setbacks, but they are a normal part of the process.
Over time, with knowledge, structure, patience, and support from friends, family, and medical professionals who understood long-term benzodiazepine withdrawal, I gradually regained stability, cognitive clarity, and emotional resilience.
I share my experience to help others facing long-term benzodiazepine withdrawal feel less isolated and better prepared. Recovery—even after decades of use—is possible, but it requires realistic expectations, persistence, and support. Life beyond benzodiazepines can be lived fully, with health, clarity, and hope.
Current Status
I am now six months into my recovery journey. While significant progress has been made, I continue to monitor my cognitive, emotional, and physical recovery. I plan to provide a follow-up update in the future to share how recovery evolves beyond this point.
Clonidine was a life saver after extremely treacherous in hospital detox that I put there myself never misuse the drugs actually handed in over 140 and had two prescriptions not even picked up was treated like a drug addict and they detoxed me like an alcoholic I also had to attend all those classes they kept me for a week on the 4th or 5th day I got no more benzos I had been on Zen for 8 years and for medication for depression and other tranquilizers for 40 years never abused them just followed my doctor’s orders the only thing was it said take three times a day as needed I was never told about dangers never said let’s get off of them nothing I went into tolerance which is terrible and then what they did to me at the hospital left me in complete psychosis I tried to do myself in because they told me that I was better so I really thought that I lost my mind I couldn’t even take care of myself then I was sent to a psych ward where they did about the exact same thing to me I am now on a slow taper extremely difficult because I’m intolerance my blood pressure is all over the place with Atenolol and Clonidine first thing in the morning at 6:00 and my next dose of my benzo 5 mg of Val and another clonidine and a Buspar still I’m suffering my symptoms were internal tremors seizures non-stop urinating 90 times in a day I swear to you absolutely no sleep hallucinations I couldn’t stand any sound had to wear earplugs all the time my vision has gotten horrendous and I also see things out of the corners of my eyes and get extremely depressed it’s terrible in the morning an afternoon I usually don’t feel better until at least my second dose at 2:00 p.m. with a clonidine it helps the heart my blood pressure runs around 170 over 80 about an hour after I take medications and my heart rate will go from 70 to 111 just standing up and walking two steps this is destroyed my entire central nervous system I know they tell people not to get on other medications they put me on Zoloft in the hospital they also have me on marzipan wish I was ripped off of without weaning I was put on clonidine and Buspar That was supposed to cure me from being in complete psychosis destroying my mind taking me off of Ben’s in 4 or 5 days and sending me home my blood pressure was over 200 they hurried up and gave me clonidine 2 hours early and got me down to 154 so they could get me out of there in a cab even though I kept telling them I wasn’t ready to leave and I was sick they didn’t even tell me what was going to happen to me when I came home the clonidine has helped me a lot but I’m not trying to push drugs on anybody everybody has their own path and I am certain I would have had more seizures I’m probably a heart attack the pain in my chest was unbearable all the time I wish you the very best that you’re going to get many opinions on this it worked for me I’m still struggling with a long taper but I’ll take relief anywhere I can get it I have to function good luck and God bless
I’m wondering if introducing a GABA supplement helps as your brain adjusts to reconnecting its own dopamine receptors? These receptors have quite literally been on vacation for years (or as long as you’ve been taking benzodiazepines). Or, would introducing this supplement just make it more difficult in the end?
I haven’t heard anyone speak of low doses of Clonidine and/or Tizanidine as helpful during the long process of brain recovery/regeneration from benzodiazepines.
Any thoughts?
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So helpful. I was on 0.5 mg Clonazepam and started cutting back in December. I am now on dissolvable tablets so will be at 0.125 mg starting this weekend. Do I taper after this or is this the last dose? Tablets are not scored. I should mention I have had two migraines in the last two months and now am sensitive to light. Is this part of withdrawal?
I appreciate reading this information. I am ready to taper off of Klonopin 0.5 mg twice daily as well as Ambien 5 mg at bedtime. Occasionally I will take Xanax 2 to 3 mg at one time during periods of dysregulation, anxiety and feeling kind of desperate.
Thank you for this very much. I’m on 10 mg of Valium. How much should I taper off at any one time?
Please buy maudsley deperscribing book. It is much more updated than the Ashton manual which she can get for free on just about any website but it’s much too fast for most of us unless you haven’t been on that long I have never had a bad taper the one I spoke of has one just for Valium they have immediate to moderate with walk you through directions and also a slow taper it was the best information I’ve come across way better than groups groups help me out a lot cuz I didn’t know anything but you have to be mindful a lot of these people have been in these groups for a very long time and some have not learned how to manage their symptoms but they had originally I personally have been shredded by terrible tolerance and detox the depression anxiety and pain are all very real but I was starting to get unhealthy living in those groups to each their own if you want a personalized taper done just for you I can’t speak highly enough of one group called beating benzos there is a man named David and his ’80s and his wife that started this group the man is a mathematical genius he’s been doing this for years I think at least 11:00 he will be able to find at the top of the page after you join information on how to get a hold of him his name is David Jones and he will do a taper plan just for you he charges nothing and the man is phenomenal the work that him and his wife have done is above and beyond Saint Hood I hope this information helps you he is located in the UK but if you can get a hold of a Gemini scale and a provider that will give you pills that you can cut or you can have access to a compounding pharmacy this is the way to go I promise you you won’t be disappointed unfortunately I’m in the states and the clinic I go to our pill counters because of the DEA so I can’t do a hyperbolic taper keep that word in mind hyperbolic taper do not do straight cuts right now I have no choice please I’m the real deal and I hope this helps you
Thank you for sharing. I am 9 years sober from benzos and all other moon & mind altering substances. Very important break down of what the 1st yr looks like. I took benzos for 17 yrs. 3 mgs too. At the end. I also mixed them with alcohol. But in 3/17 I surrendered to everything. You are an inspiration and a messenger of Hope. God bless and keep sharing your experience, strength and hope.
I’m so glad I found this website and your blog. I am a 71 year old woman, just starting my tapering journey. I suffer from insomnia, and was unfortunately prescribed Ativan, which I took at 1mg for 9 years. Then, as a result of some other medical developments, I was put on Temazepam. My prescribing physician continued to increase my dosage and refill my prescription until I was taking 30mg. I ended up under the care of a psychiatrist who got me off the Temazepam, but shortly thereafter put me back on Ativan. I questioned this and she said it was safe longterm under the care of a psychiatrist. I was desperate for sleep and for someone who would continue to write prescriptions. I didn’t realize I had options. I finally left her care when I was up to 3mg and she wanted me to take 4mg. That frightened me! I left her practice and found someone else. I am down to 2.5mg, but it has not been easy. I have endured some terrible waves, when I thought I wasn’t going to make it and considered calling the Crisis Line. I now have an appointment to see an addiction specialist, and I pray he can help me. I need to get off this poison and deal with my insomnia problem. I fear, at my age, this is going to be so difficult. When I get through it, and I realize it may take years, I will become an advocate. Wish me well on my journey.
Wow! That is a sorted journey Elaine. Good for you for working so diligently. It’s not an easy ride. This week has been incredibly difficult for me as well. Sleep has been a real issue in the last month. I think you have the right attitude. Acceptance that this will take a long time to do safely, potentially a few years.
My one encouragement, and you may already be doing this, is to maximize all non-prescription sleep hygiene techniques.
Thanks for checking in and I wish you the best on this journey! You will be successful. I can hear it in your determination.
I am 77 and my insomnia has improved so much since tapering very very slowly. A good physician is critical. I am grateful to have found this blog. I forgot to say I was first put on Clonazepam 0.5 mg 23 years ago.
I started tapering from 4 mg of xanax in 2023. Thanks to a doctor who talked me out of going to detox, (THANK GOD) or idk if I would be alive. I got so sick I had to go impatient, in November of 2023, they switched me to valium bc it’s supposed to be easier to taper off of. I had to keep working, and it’s impossible to work when I’m in withdrawal. I got the opportunity for a career that I don’t even have a degree for – and I had to stop my taper in order to work. When I got to the hospital in November 2023, I had weened myself to 2.5 mg of Xanax over the course of that year. Something triggered my CNS, i took really HIGH vitamin B1 doses that is believed to have triggered my CNS. I thought I was going to die. At the hospital, they took me from the 2.5 mg xanax to 20mg valium. I’ve been slow tapering since then, down to 7.5 mg (currently). I am angry, as I feel I just swapped one for the other. What can i do – I have to freaking work. Still a long way left to go in my journey unfortunately. 🙁
Thanks a lot for sharing 😊 I’ve had had a similar experience (I’m 4 months into my recovery and it’s been painful and scary).
I’m a veteran and have used Xanax for 48yrs. The VA is not realistic in their treatment of withdrawal from benzoyl. Nor do they listen to or consider the Veterans opinion or ideas regarding his/hers thoughts on cessation. What can I do! Stephen
I am able to relate to a great deal of what you shared here. I wanted to thank you for bringing to light some of the issues I too have been experiencing. After ten years of heavy benzo use, and coming off them only this year, life is about celebrating the small “wins” as of late. Again, thank you. I hope to hear more from your experience/knowledge.
so did you take diazepam and tapered it post detox? or there were no medications/supplements post detox?
thank you
Hey Layla. I eventually, after having the stroke scare (which turned out to not be a stroke), did a 3-week diazepam taper. Prior to that when I was in inpatient detox I had low dose phenobarbital for seizure prophylaxis. It was quite sub-optimal, and a huge piece of why I am entering this space of helping others.
I had a two-week rapid taper and then abrupt cessation after that and I am in protracted withdrawal after 9 years of prescribed 4mg clonazepam…do you say going back to another benzo to taper off is highly recommended? Thanks in advance ☺️
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences here. I, too, went through a very similar experience. Unfortunately I am still on prescribed Klonopin, having been unable to properly discontinue it after years of trying.
I am so deeply sorry to know you’ve had a painful experience! I was on klonopin for 9 years and I am barely on my 4month into protracted withdrawal…there are out there doctors that are compassionate to listen and work with us…it does take time, energy, and stress to find them though.
Thankyou for sharing your struggle with benzodiazepines. It’s inspiring and encouraging to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was on diazepam for decades too, and am currently two and a half months into sobriety. Unfortunately I had a very severe trauma whilst going through withdrawal, which has affected my nervous system tremendously. There doesn’t seem to be that much support in the UK for managing withdrawal symptoms. The doctors here, seem quite dismissive which doesn’t help matters. The process has felt like a living hell, and all the symptoms I was trying to medicate with benzodiazepines, seem to have appeared with a vengeance. Much love to anyone going through this.
Thank you for sharing your story. That sounds terrifying of what you went thru but at the same time encouraging.
Thanks Laura! Builds character for sure. Still learning a lot in the journey!
Matthew,
Awesome work coming off one of the deadliest of benzo’s:Ativan. They’re ALL hellish,but Ativan/Lorazepam seems to have some particular traits that makes it brutal to come,and stay off. I used the Ashton Manuel,which saved my life,to come off Ativan and have been benzo-free since Decemeber 18,2022.
A couple comments on Matthew’s heroic story:
1.) Conventional rehab IS NOT for benzo dependence OR addiction. Either way,the withdrawal process is dangerously fast and the over-stimulation of CBT,(“talk therapy”),either one- on- one or group is NOT appropriate during benzo withdrawal.Mental processing is literally impossible and executive functioning skills may be absent. It overwhelms an already struggling CNS.
2.) It is awesome that Matthew can block-out his withdrawal process with predictability week-by-week. That is overwhelmingly NOT most of our stories and BIND is very real. Withdrawal is extremely individualized and “windows and waves” are a more typical reality.
3.)Our society is so riddled with “health care” created addicts that the very limited definition of addiction is,in my opinion,no longer accurate. I know I am speaking heresy on this site,but you do not have to be living in a box eating cat food or knocking off liquor stores to be an addict in this prescription drug infatuated culture. You are absolutely not out of danger just because someone in a lab coat prescribes it and you take it “as prescribed”.Stimulants, benzos, opioids…it starts in a clean office,not a dirty street for most people.
3.) I actually attended a 12-step group after being off Ativan over 2 years. EVERY person starts a benzo for a reason. We do not start a benzo because our life is going just spanky and our emotional health is locked-down. That is where the program helped. The 12-steps begin with admitting that your life had become unmanageable.Mine had.It’s exactly why I started Ativan. It ends at reaching out to help others.
Peace my Brothers and Sisters.
Great points!
Yes he was lucky but realize that MOST people get off benzos without symptoms or short mild symptoms. Thats a big reason drs look at those harmed as unicorns.
Fact: the online communities are skewed towards worst cases. Those who get off easy and dont suffer dont join online sites. We know people ct highdoses without symptoms after decades because they often kindle at one point and then join the online communities. I see it over and over. Even cases of multiple cts and then thec3rd one bites them.
I agree that online communities tend to skew toward people who are struggling—those who come off easily usually don’t go looking for support, so that part is fair.
Where I’d push back a bit is the idea that significant withdrawal is rare or that most people come off long-term benzodiazepines with little to no symptoms. Physiologic dependence is actually expected with ongoing use, and withdrawal symptoms exist on a spectrum—from mild and brief to more prolonged and complex. A meaningful number of patients fall somewhere in the middle, not just the extremes.
There’s also good evidence for kindling, where repeated withdrawals can sensitize the nervous system and make subsequent attempts more difficult. That’s a recognized phenomenon and one reason gradual tapering is generally recommended.
I think the more accurate takeaway is:
– Many people do taper successfully
– Symptoms are common, not exceptional
– Severity varies widely
– And a subset of people do experience longer recoveries
So while forums may overrepresent harder cases, it doesn’t make those experiences “unicorns”—it just highlights the full range of outcomes that can happen.
“most” people do not get off benzos without symptoms LMAO tell me you know nothing without telling me
if you know what you’re talking about, why post anonymously? what a joke
Im glad you are doing well. However many of us ate not. My store is similar but I am 23 months into a very long slow taper and was disappointed you did not mention the worse and most deadly symptom akathesia. It is worth talking about since it kills many. Good luck and thank you!❤️
Thanks Tommy,
You are absolutely right! Akathesia is definitely in the top symptoms. For me it isn’t a lot of wanting to move physically, but more the internal agitation.
Hi Matthew, isn’t it safer to stay on them for life, rather than risk seizures or strokes etc?
Hi Tammy.
You are right, the akathesia is an absolute deadly symptom during a benzo withdrawal.
Not everyone has this one but when it is yours I totally agree it is the worst.
The good news is that, over time, all of the symptoms lessen and most disappear.
He didnt mention it because its not a common symptom. Rare with those that taper. Again, online communities skewed towards the worse cases. He’s talking about his experience. Half the members of brnzo warriors are protracted. Do you think half of benzo tapered are protracted?
Not sure why people criticized a poster for discussing his issues.
This is awesome. Glad he stayed at a low dose and survived. Recovery centers have no idea what the Benzo sufferer goes through. Personally, I’ve lost emotional resilience. But I’ll never give up. Thanks again!
I can totally connect with this statement of losing resilience, but not giving up. It takes tremendous energy (emotional and physical) to pull through BZD withdrawal, PAWS, etc. The challenge is overwhelming, and there is no way to choose to step away from it. If anyone says we aren’t resilient, they do not understand. That said, we will make it through this! Never give up!
Thank you again. This Memorial Day 2026, I have 7 years pharmaceutical-free. The Benzos caused me to have a tragic accident and I was on a pin head sized dose of Suboxone. It didn’t help the Benzo withdrawal and knowing now what I didn’t know then, is that I could have seizured, died withdrawing from 2 mg of alprazolam by a cold turkey. I will forever be rattled by this experience, have lost all sibling connections and my nieces and nephews. When I try to explain, it only makes it worse. God bless us all!! ❤️
Hi Dr White, all those symptoms of physical withdrawl you described are my symptoms of Anxiety / Panic Attack. I wouldn’t leave the house for last 4 months, got to. the stage to end it with a couple of insulin pens.Ive taken 30mg serepax @ night for 30 years.Never during day.
My wife made me take one in the day during my break down and wow I felt better.Saved my life.Im currently taking 7 X 15 mg ( half tablets a day ) 85% stable. See Psychiatrist Friday,I’m 70 not worried about addiction . You thoughts please Grant ( Australia )
I’d say, I deeply understand with what you are saying, and that was my for 20 years also. You’ve come to the right place for BZD information.
Thank you for sharing and working towards educating others. If you are feeling better at only 6 months off you are doing very well. I took Ativan starting at age 29 because of cancer diagnosis and harsh treatments… stayed on it 30 years. Now (64) almost 5 years off and I’m still suffering with many symptoms. Feel like my body is breaking down after all this. It’s been a hellish experience that no one should endure. May gods bless you for trying to make a difference.
Susan, I relate to the exhaustion. The energy expenditure can be enormous. I should clarify. I’m not ‘better’, but I have noted improvement. Every day I wonder if it will ever be ‘normal’. I’m committed though to keep going each day. It is. Hellish experience, and we are highly resilient. My wife often says, just take the next right step. That is what keeps me going.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience Dr. White. I am glad that you are continuing to get better. It’s awesome that you were able to return to work. You give me hope, and I needed some very much today!
Hey Crystal,
I’ve found that hope is one of the most powerful things we can have. May you have continued healing. I truly believe that your hope isn’t misplaced. As a follower of Jesus, I believe all things are possible. I sure sometimes wish it were faster though 🙂
Hello Dr White, a million congrats to you! You are almost over a very difficult journey. You are becoming more resilient than ever before and extremely happy with your family. Celebrate your success. I myself am 18 months off prescribed lorazepam and previously wrongly prescribed one month of klonazepam. I was dizzy for 7 years but all of this is gone. I still have some benzo induced respiratory problems once in a while. I wish more research would be performed on benzodiazepine related lung issues. I do suggest neurofeedback for sleeping issues. I am now back at many activities I enjoy, including scuba diving and sitting on a board of directors. My savior is Nicole Lamberson and I wish you all the best at working with her.
France Pachebat, MA, MPA, Noya, Québec, Canada.
France, I must admit, BZD related respiratory disease is a new concept for me. I didn’t know that was an adverse event.
I enjoy SCUBA too, and I can see the connection with the respiratory illness. I look forward to learning more!
I was prescribed Xanax initially 2 mg ER in December 2025 for sever muscle spasms (not anxiety). I had been mostly bedridden for 1.5 years due to an undiagnosed connective tissue issue, with only home PT every other day.
X helped the spasms for the first few weeks, but then I developed severe side effects: complete muscle tone loss (mush/jelly feeling), visceral anesthesia, burning/tingling, and new systemic dystonic spasms I never had before. The “window of relief” got shorter and shorter, and my muscles deteriorated rapidly. I started tapering on Feb 17 and ended up in the ER the next day.
My doctor switched me to Clonazepam 1 mg, which I started to taper to 0.75mg a month ago.
I am back on 075mg today (after tapering down to 0.5mg for four days prior) The side effects are even worse: total loss of muscle tone, visceral anesthesia, and unbearable dystonic spasms (especially pelvic floor, gluteal, adductors, hamstrings) that feel like razor blades cutting through raw meat. K gives zero relief — it only makes everything worse.
I was also prescribed mexiletine 150 mg once daily. It didn’t help and made the spasms and tone loss worse too.
I’m mostly bedridden. I try PT (isometrics in bed, as well standing/walking a bit), but it only amplifies the agony and strains my atrophied muscles instead of strengthening them.
I’m in 24/7 agony and don’t know what to do.
Wondering if anyone has experiences like mine, would appreciate sharing how to manage the symptoms I’ve described above.
Did he taper?
I was abruptly stopped by a Dr. after 11 years on Klonopin.
My skin fell off from LARGE BOILS beginning in my nose, mouth and hands, ultimately covering my entire body, with the exception of my face down to my tendons (I have photos). I was on a fed line, blood transfusions. Dr. at ER immediately resumed my Klonopin gradually. I don’t recommend discontinuing. Dr. Jordan Peterson, Stevie Knicks, Celine Dion etc suffer years later I suffered enough.
Hi Lee.
I too came off cold turkey after 8 yrs 2 mg Klonopin.
Worst decision ever and I paid for it with a hell Jordan Peterson has decribed very well.
It took me about 15 yrs to somewhat recover and be the person I wanted to be.
My old self never returned.
Now, looking back, and after decades of work on myself, the new me will never take any mind altering médication ever again.
At the time, No doctor and no addiction treatment centers were able to help me until I found by sheer luck some recovered benzo victims in England and New Zealand.
This all happened in the 90ties.
They were instrumental in the first year of withdrawal when 125 symptoms had hit me all at once.
Its a miracle I survived…ive spend a lot of Time in hospitals and treatment centers where my condition worsened by the day.
I worked afterwards in an online benzo support group for about 20 yrs and have helped thousands of people get off.
Unfortunately, many have to go back on due to the horrid symptoms and try again later.
Even more unfortunate is with each attempt, it can become harder and harder to get to the finish Line.
I totally understand you no longer want to go there and leave it as it is after your terrible expérience.
Is your doctor monitoring your dosage? Your brain and liver can‘t possibly jump around like that I don’t think. Sounds like you need super careful guidance with tapering.
Larissa, you have a lot happening simultaneously. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Given the severity and changes with medication adjustments, this needs close follow-up with your prescriber. I wouldn’t try to manage this in isolation—this warrants structured in-person evaluation.
Hello Dr white. Thank you for sharing your story.
My son also has a story and is still working through PAWS. He was prescribed Xanax 7 years ago by a psychiatrist. He changed doctors and found a doctor willing to help taper (changed to Valium) as per Ashton Manual. He struggled with every taper but got it down to half the original doze (7-8 mil grams) daily. He left for Costa Rica last year at this time to visit his dad. He came down with an infection in his leg which later turned to sepsis. He was hospitalized and had two surgeries to remove fluid. The hospital gave him morphine.
When he returned home he started taking Kratom and 7OH to help him function as well as still trying to taper the Valium. Kratom and 7OH, two substances which are supposed to be “all nature”, now added to his problems. He tried to get off of them which he realized were very addictive and physically dependent. We also found it hard to find doctors in the area who would help taper. Now my son was feeling even more anxious as he was running out his prescription.
Due to being extremely fatigued I took him to ER. The ER doctor just looked at him and said it was withdrawal and sent us home. One month later (Dec 21) he told me he couldn’t breathe so i called 911. He was admitted and chart listed drug overdose. I explained what drugs he was taking and brought prescription to the hospital. Especially concerned about Valium as it should be a slow taper. They stopped everything including Valium. He was released 5 days later, and seemed better for the first two days. By day 3 post hospital he started saying incoherent things. Very paranoid and hallucinating. I called 911 again. He was in ER and they found no drugs in his system. I kept asking for another doctor who was familiar with Acute Benzo Withdrawal. They finally got psychiatric doctor who confirmed what I had kept saying. They put him on short acting Benzo to get him out of delirium. He slowly came out and was released after 5 days. Over a week ago I took him back to ER as he was in extreme pain. He appeared to have some condition where his mouth would either lock open for several minutes or grind so hard it felt like teeth were cracking. Again, doctors were at a lost. No drugs in system. I asked for psychiatric doctor who knew post withdrawal. She was not on call but they brought in neurologist. He said it could be withdrawal but it had been 3 months and should be out of his system. He recommended Benadryl and short acting benzo used in these type of situations ( I have all the drug names). Within 5 minutes the condition improved. And we went home.
Ongoing extreme stomach pain (Benzo belly?) extreme fatigue, difficulty with sleep. Good days and bad days. He is unable to work. We continue with doctor visits for new issues as well as therapists. He would probably not have made it through all of this without him being an athlete and eats very healthy and has a very supportive family.
We both want to advocate for more education on the dangers of benzos as well as the dangers of kratom and
7OH which are sold in smoke shops as “all nature supplements “. We still have a long way
Hi Nancy.
Your son is going through a nasty benzo withdrawal which can last years.
And the dreadful events on top didnt help and pushed him further in the agony.
Just know that the médical profession is not equipped with the knowledge of a benzo withdrawal since most have no issues coming off.
In the 90ties, it was thought that 30 % couldnt come off a benzo, whether you tapered or not.
I worked in an online benzo supportgroup where I was one of the moderators…we used Prof Ashton’s guide while I had translated it in French.
We got Prof Ashton a plane ticket and had her come to Vancouver, Canada.
Prof Ashton was the only person at that time who understood the benzo story and had opened up many local benzo supportgroups in England where they were way ahead of any other country on this subject.
While benzos are no longer detected in your system after 3 Months, the problem is what benzos have done TO your system while daily ingesting these molecules.
2 weeks daily use is maximum and any time after becomes nothing but feeding an addicted brain.
Its the raw brain and nervous system which need to heal and that can take years.
If you stop half way during a taper, the body will fight back and demands you take more again.
Its too bad he decided to go to Costa Rica in this fragile state.
And where they decided in their wisdom to take him off the Valium all together now.
His nervous system and brain were completely fried.
Its not unusual to feel ok at first, 1 or 2 Days, before all hell breaks loose.
Cracking your teeth from the severe grinding is quite common in severe withdrawals.
About 150 symptoms have been reported over the years.
There used to be a complète liste of symptoms floating around cyberspace.
Stomach pains, fatigue, not sleeping are all three on that list.
Please dont let any ignorant doctor prescribe another psychiatric drug to add to his overinflamed system.
Everything will backfire and cripple him more and more.
A clean diet, clear fluids, support from those who have been there, family support and knowledge about this benzo syndrome is all he needs.
Vitamins can also backfire, particular the B’s….they revve his system up.
So does sugar and caffeine.
And don’t let any one tell you he is an addict and needs AA or NA.
He became an accidental addict through no fault of his own.
Thank you Madelon
How can I find doctors that specialize in treating this condition? When he left hospital they left him on Wellbutrin and gabapentin. He said he thinks it helps but I think he needs someone knowledgeable in this area. At this point I will pay out of pocket. I am frustrated trying to convince ER doctors and providers that these are withdrawal symptoms.
Thank you for sharing this—I’m sorry your family is going through such a difficult situation.
There is definitely a need for better education around benzodiazepines and substances like kratom and 7-OH.
Hi Matthew, I’ve been on Valium for a few decades and my psychiatrist said if I still can’t relax to sleep to add zopiclone. I’m not sure whether to taper off Valium and take zopiclone or just stick with Valium and try reducing by taking a lower dose?
Thank you for legitimizing the symptoms, that so many have, but are considered exaggerations of benzodiazapene withdrawals. Like you, I was prescribed valium, 30 mgs a day, for muscle spasms (damaged lumbar spinal cord) and the insomnia that occurred from this condition. After 15 years at this dose, my doctor informed me that I needed to reduce and eventually stop. I was 60 years old. Tapering for 8 years, down to 5 mgs was brutal. At 5mgs I stopped and now 7 months later, it all seems so surreal. Your experience gives me hope. After 23 years, I can say benzodiazapene free. Thank you
Hold on to that hope! Congratulations on being BZD free. I think we may be at similar stages of the journey. Your story is one of a much resilience and determination. For what it is worth, I’m proud of you.
I so appreciate your post. I took Ativan for 5 1/2 months for sleep issues. I went off the Ativan April 2021, it was .25 mg dose very small, but I am very sensitive to medication’s. It is five years, and I still am experiencing some lingering symptoms, including sleep disturbances as I get that internal shaking and external shaking, which keeps me from falling asleep. It has definitely been a journey, one I hope to be completely healed from soon
I can relate to the shaking and the sleep disturbances. Me too, I wish you full recovery and healing!
I enjoyed the article very much very informative. Hit close to home. I’ve been on benzos for about 40 years trying to reduce at least ideally to get off. There is no doctors in my area or anyone who knows anything about it so I’m like most people I’m left alone to figure it out myself.
Edward, I hear you. The understanding and medical knowledge around BZDs is limited in the medical community. As a pharmacist, I can talk in depth about how receptors work, neuroscience, etc., however, living the experience is completely different.
Hey, I appreciate your heartfelt blog… The one thing I most get out of it is that the place you went to for 30 days did not seem like a good place for tapering off benzos. I have attended AA meetings where there are people of all different substances, and I don’t feel strange at all. None of us feel strange if it’s a good group it sounds like you put yourself in a bad situation which made your withdrawal even more difficult. Peace be with you, my friend.
Good afternoon, I am glad you are slowly on the road to recovery. I have posted here in the past. When my son turned 18, he was referred to a sleep doctor. He had sleep issues. From the beginning, it started with Trazodone, Ambien, Vistaril, Seroquel, Restoril, Gabapentin, Halcion, Temazepam, Doxepin, Trazolam, Luvox, and Xyrem.Kolopin. Yes, altogether or alternating. I laugh when I see alternating. You can’t alternate with these drugs. His life sucked for 2 1/2 years. We had no idea he was on all these meds. He was in tip-top shape except for the sleep issues. We lived a roller coaster way of life. I kept saying we are missing something. Yes, what we were missing was that my son’s life was slowly being taken from him by someone who claimed that she was stimulating his GABA. All in the name of sleep. She was using these drugs because a side effect was sleep. Not because he needed any of these drugs. Right. I watched him live every single side effect. He struggled so badly. He was struggling so badly to get off everything, but Kolopin especially. I remember him telling me he feels nothing. I remember him saying that’s what these pills do, they make me feel nothing. I remember standing in the hallway thinking to myself OMG, my son is struggling, and I don’t know what to do. Because I had no idea what he was dealing with. I remember feeling like my blood ran cold. By this point in his life, he had been given so much medication that it would have taken years for him to recover. With the help of his MD, who began tapering him. I think what doctors don’t understand is first how all of this crap works, and especially when it’s mixed all together. Kolopin is a great example of this. My son felt nothing because that’s what the drug does. It blocks that receptor. When you mix everything, you create new and overwhelming issues. I saw that education is king. You need to educate yourself before you begin taking anything. I give the example of being drunk, you can’t be reasoned with, you don’t understand what is happening. My son, 6 weeks after his 22nd birthday, my son would get into an argument with my husband and went home, wrote a two-page letter, and shot himself. I needed to understand what happened, I needed to know why! I spent the better part of 14 years studying these drugs. I share my story in the hope it saves someone’s life. Out of everything, some things stand out in my mind. I remember the MD calling me and telling me that my son’s case had been bothering him. He was trying to wrap his head around my son’s sleep issue. I remember him saying that being on Kolopin was like your brain is on fire. If the medical community really understands and believes this, why would they put anyone on this horrible drug? Is it the belief that a person will just stay on this drug forever? The commonality of the need to consistently readjust these drugs is paramount. Once I got my son’s records and began to read through and saw what his doctor was doing to him, my first thought was, she is clearly a drug pusher, and I sought a DEA connection. The 2nd thing was that with every record, there were constant medicine adjustments. At no time did she remove something without replacing it with a different drug or two. And I did find in his records that she recommended alternating. This was, without a doubt in my mind, caused by recklessness. Sadly enough could have been prevented. As a mother, I can tell you the pain of losing your son to something so preventable is more than maddening. It’s unfair and forever. I spend time reading and studying all of these drugs so I can maybe save someone’s life. I also wanted to see laws changed, if a doctor prescribes to the reckless degree as ours did. And the person takes their life as a result, I wanted the doctor brought up on murder charges. My best advice is, before you begin taking anything, read about what it is and how it works. Understand what withdrawal looks like and why. Educate yourself.
I have been taking Xanax 1 mg 3 times a day. I have severe panic attacks and anxiety. If I take my Xanax prior to panic attacks setting in then I’m ok. I have been on Xanax for about 10 yrs. when I have not been able to get to pharmacy to get it for a couple of days, I can not function daily. I have PTSD also. I have not and never done any other illicit drugs. I have a nursing degree. I do not have family support. The only support system I have is my x husband of 30 yrs (whom we have just reconciled last year). But he has had a triple bypass last year. So I’m sort of caring for him. My 30 yr old son assaulted me last January. Hit me in the head. I was dx w traumatic brain injury. My biological mom died last June of cancer so the past year has been very stressful and the worst year. The Xanax is what has gotten me through everything. I feel so much worse when I don’t take it. I am also a rideshare driver on the side. And driving drunk college kids around is stressful. My ex husband says he can tell that I am a more calm, relaxed and better person, better personality when I take Xanax. Am I wrong for feeling guilty for taking it? If it helps me, I’m all for it and it does help me.
Hi Dr. White,
As an RN and a benzodiazepine survivor, I know the frustration you feel with the Healthcare system. But overall, you did it! You are 6 months out and it only gets better! Your quality of life will improve immensely. I was on Clonazepam, Ativan, Valium, Xanax at different times for a total of 14 years. I had to quit cold turkey because I lost my health insurance. I thought I was going to die but I didn’t! It took a total of 14 months of PAWS to feel normal.again. The best thing is: I never realized how wonderful my brain functioned off benzodiazepines! I took a little job at a local Carwash to help get into the swing of things for about 4 years
Now, Im in the process of re-entry in the Nursing profession!
I truly pray for the Best for you!
Sincerely,
Michelle Leigh Juarez, BSN, AAS, RN
I so appreciate your post. I took Ativan for 5 1/2 months for sleep issues. I went off the Ativan April 2021, it was .25 mg dose very small, but I am very sensitive to medication’s. It is five years, and I still am experiencing some lingering symptoms, including sleep disturbances as I get that internal shaking and external shaking, which keeps me from falling asleep. It has definitely been a journey, one I hope to be completely healed from soon
Good 4 You. Youre an inspiration.
Im.tryi gbto stop Zzbax ..q3 yeaes..on topnof cancer chemo and Covid emphysema to my lungs..never smikedcever. 4 years with a psychiatrist.Im at .75 mg ..It was given for insomnia after chemo. Cancer under control for 17 years no issues what so ever. Great Oncologists in my journey. A GP decided I was depressed. I was as happy as I had ever been. He diagnosed me in 3 minutes and gave Xsbax 3 mg daily which I never took more than 1.5 I couldn’t understand why 1mg every 8 hours for sleep. Well 10 years later I found out what Benzodiazepines are and Im.paying for it now.Terrible sleep is ruining me. That GP Doc was very irresponsible and destroyed my life with arrogance.
HOW do I find help!? Similar situation taking prescription for 20+ years. Now 18 months off medicine and still feel as if I am about 5 days off of it. No one will listen to or believe what I am trying to explain to them
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I have been on this journey helping my son who has been on benzos for 15 years and it has ruined his life. As a coalition, how can you advance the inpatient treatment facilities and create ones specific to benzo withdrawal providing IVs, nutrition, and acupuncture to assist the process? Are there no facilities in the country that can properly detox someone from these medications?
Also, how do we bring this devastating condition forward to the Make America Healthy Again movement or Robert Kennedy to make this a nationwide problem to address? How do we sue the manufacturers and their lack of educating doctors? Why are these drugs used at all?
Thank you for sharing your story as this is the same for most of us. Welcome to the benzodiazepine coalition. It will be great to have you on their team with your pharmaceutical background coupled with your benzo withdrawal experience. Thank you for sharing your story. I myself am on the same journey and I’m working with a tapering coach. I have about a year and a half to safely get off Valium. It’s full of ups and downs, but I feel like I am healing. Again, thank you and welcome to the benzo coalition.
This is very encouraging. I have been on Klonopin as needed for 15+ years. In the last 3 years I have been taking it 3 times a day. I am in the process of tapering from a total of 4.5 mg a day and am currently taking a total of 1.0 mg a day. None of the medical professionals I see would even discuss it with me.
Congratulations and welcome back to the world!
Long story short, I was prescribed a very low dose of clonazepam twice a day for 60 days, after the one month mark I felt worse and stopped taking it. Four years later I have a myriad of symptoms (all new) and all tests come back negative. Since BIND can cause symptoms that can be misdiagnosed, how do I explain to my doctors what’s happening to me when they don’t know anyone who knows about BIND and are unable to refer me to anyone that does?